Now for my plead. In years past I have never thought about this much, but having friends with kids who have severe food allergies my eyes have been opened. Trick or Treating is a scary experience for those families, never knowing if a candy bar with peanuts (or trace peanuts) will be dropped into the bucket. Never knowing if someone was eating something with peanuts on it and handed it to their child (peanut oil is VERY contaminating BTW). Or tree nuts. Or wheat. Or dairy. Think about it. These kids can't eat their Halloween candy. Their parents carry an epi-pen with them "just in case" the most awful happens. It's a way of life.

If you could, think about having a separate bowl with "safe" candy or treats for the kids. Things like stickers, pencils, erasers, silly rings, or jelly beans, fruit snacks, lollipops, etc. Check the labels and mostly avoid peanuts, tree nuts, wheat, or dairy. :) If you can't do this, then possibly just tell the parents "Hey this candy contains peanuts, is that okay?" The parents might have a 2nd bag for those candies.

*stepping off my soapbox now*

Oh the CHEESE factor!

Ah...yes. The "cheese" factor. This is what happens when kids say "cheese" and why I try my hardest to NEVER teach that word in relation to photos with my kids.

I'm working on our Christmas card photos, and this was just too funny to save.

A chopsticks natural?

We went out to eat last week, and ended up at a fast food Asian eatery kind of place. We ordered, and I picked up 2 sets of chopsticks (for Dh and I). I laid them down and Samuel picked up one pair to play with, and Katie grabbed the other. I ended up giving Katie her noodles, and had split the chopsticks apart (the disposable wood kind). She immediately put both in her right hand, held them mostly right, picked up a "knot" of noodles...and put them in her mouth.

We had to pick up our mouths off the floor.

She continued to play with them, but never again managed to work them correctly to get noodles to her mouth. One time she "cheated" and used her fingers to hold the noodles and moved the chopsticks along with her fingers to her mouth.

Yes we cheered that as well.

What it felt like to be skipped for LOA/RA

It's been over a year, and I still have bitter feelings about what happened during our wait for LOA. It was a partially a product of my own doing by counting and analyzing so much. But at the same time, it was also something terrible that I really must move beyond.

We got our referral on June 26, and were LOI on June 29th. I knew that our file was very close to going into the review room because the box said they had finished reviewing July 2006 files, and it had been changed a good time prior to that, and in early July it did change to reflect that August 2006 was out of review. As we all know that the box only changes when all agencies are out of review, and I had reason to believe that my agency was ahead of the "changing box" by at least a few weeks.

So, from watching the LOI to LOA timeframes I expected to definitely be in under the 90 day average. I knew that my NSN group was in review in July most likely, and I was hoping that I had been LOI early enough to make sure it was moved in the correct stack. But regardless, my month's LID group was being reviewed so I thought we'd "move to the top" of the stack. KWIM?

Seems a little silly to think that now, but numbers back then, did lead me to think that around 60 days would be about right. Out of review took about 30 days, in NSN review took around 60, and not through review at all or near it took 90 days. Sure there were exceptions, but I totally ignored them.

I remember well the day that LOA/RA came in for the groups I thought I would be in. I had been calling my coordinator to check on things as I had noticed that other agencies with 9/06 LID had all gotten their LOA/RA for their clients. I was already a little scared, but I was trusting in our agency. They wanted to wait until it had passed 90 days (which was the week before their week long holiday), and then they wanted to wait until the next batch of LOA/RA came in. It did. I remember a friend calling me to say "I got it!!! Did you?" I was at karate and had not heard. I called, and my coordinator asked if had gotten my email. As I had been out of the house, No I had not. She gently told me, "Yours did not come. Neither did any for the people logged in during 9/2006." She told me I had been the TOP slot on their list as I had the earliest LID and the earliest LOI date, because I did not get it that meant that something was definitely wrong. She told me they were going to check into it, but it would be the next week before they heard back and to be warned it might not be very informative.

I asked all sorts of questions, and the only thing she could tell me was that at the very worst we would be starting the 90 day wait period over again. The best case was that the LOA was ready to send and we would get it at the end of the following week. My hopes for travel at the end of October were dashed. 100% dashed. I entered a very dark place at this time, a place where I felt like the adoption was never ever going to go forward. That I was going to not be approved to adopt her. I would fluctuate between calm acceptance and despair. Only Dh fully saw how the emotional turmoil was going on for me. Only he saw the stress it put me under. Someone in our agency, who was waiting to travel and had had her own set of rough wait sent me emails and encouragement. She truly helped me through those days.

The next week I got my answer, "We process according to LID and LOI date." Huh? So, the agency went back and told them about MY file and it should have been processed already. What was going on. We never received a clear cut answer, but the best anyone was able to figure out was that when we sent in LOI our month was in NSN review room. They pulled it and put the SN LOI with it, then let it finish up review. When our month came out of review it should have gone back to the SN department and we should have gotten our LOA. Something happened, and it never made it back to SN department is what we think. 9/2006 LID month was the first time the "out of review" box part took the longest time. Other families had had the exact same thing happen to them as I was experiencing, and it ended up being that after their month was officially out of review they got LOA.

While in my dark days, no answers, and constant wondering what was going on, I had to cancel my baby shower for Katie. We didn't even know if we would be approved. The group that got LOA when I should have, started getting their TA and setting up travel...I was still waiting for that LOA notice. I remember vividly knowing that the group I fully expected to be traveling with was leaving on November 1st. I did not have LOA yet, with no hope on the horizon as my LID group was not out of review room officially yet. The agency had long since done all they could and we were just waiting. We did not know if they were just now reviewing things, if I would have to wait until January to get LOA or what. All I knew is that my baby girl, that I had not had any updates on, was aging each day. That I did not know what her feet looked like. I didn't know her smile. I didn't know what her cry sounded like. See, her orphanage is notorious for NO updates or photos. It's very very closed. I found myself being so jealous for all the updates that others would get of their child.

In an effort to pull myself out of that dark place, I took the boys and focused on them on October 31st. I took them and made portraits (those at the blog header), and we spent the day goofing off. While I was not smiling much for Halloween, the boys did enjoy themselves and we enjoyed time as a family. I knew the group was leaving the next day, and all I could think about was how I was supposed to be leaving with them.

November 1st we got our LOA. The coordinator called to tell me, and I remember NOT wanting to answer the phone when I saw the area code/caller id. I just knew it would be more bad news because it couldn't be my LOA because I was convinced by this point that I would never get it. That my daughter would be forced to grow up without our love. I had thought about how unfair it was of us to request her file when it would take us so long to get to her, that she should have had a family that could get to her quickly because she so deserved it. But, I did answer. It was my LOA. The sun came out and the world was brighter...but it was that brittle kind of bright. KWIM?

We were told to expect to travel around the end of November. Of course there were delays with getting TA. Then CA were not readily available. But we managed to leave on December 6th, and get home on the 19th.

1 year later, I am still fighting some of the bitterness I feel in being skipped. In having my paperwork "lost" and losing a full month with my daughter. I still have some lingering emotions from that time. While the "extra" waiting I endured makes sense now, and I'm truly thankful to have traveled when we did....I will still always remember that wait.

Just like I will always remember the incredibly long wait for our DTC when I was doing everything I could to get it through. It took us 9 months, and had much to do with getting all the clearances that were required by our state.

Would I do it all again? Yes, in a heartbeat. Are we going to? I just don't know. I would like to, but right now, finance dictate we must wait...and we don't feel that tug to start just yet either. ;)

Sometimes I really should investigate

I was sitting upstairs taking a break from responsibilities (you know investigating odd sounds) and catching up blogs. Break for work (not resting the tendinitis though).

I hear Katie splashing in something...not sure what...but splashing.

I merrily type away upstairs...I know the doors to the toilets are all closed. It was coming from the kitchen table area and I KNOW there was no soups, cereals, etc. out. Eh...how bad could it be?

*note to self, ALWAYS go investigate*

A few minutes (or 10) later, I see Katie. She's, well, a little sticky. Her NEW shirt has a chocolate milk stain. Her hair? it's dry sticking straight out mess. Crunchy.

OH YEAH. Her sippy cup didn't have a stopper in it.

I should have investigated that splashing noise.

Tagged? How could she?!

TongguMomma tagged me in this fun Meme. I think she already knew I was just a tad on the quirky side. In order not to fully embarrass myself, I'll try to take the random and weird facts from only one aspect of my life. Yeah. That says a lot about me doesn't it!

7 random and weird facts about me?! Uhmmm..hmmmm...okay.

1. In my very last marching band competition for high school, I fell in the middle. Right before I was to play a solo, standing ALONE on the 50 yard line...with mud dripping off the bell of my mellophone. The band director NEVER saw it.

2. Thanks to high school marching band/season I know the entire counterpoint for the song "Prince Ali" from Aladdin.

3. Thanks to the entire low brass section (of which I was part) and the fact that there were I think 5 females, I learned how to correct spit. I also got to hear the rating scale they used for the girls walking by, and I would correct their impressions..."An 8?! Her? Nah....she talks bad about people who think are her friends behind their backs. I'd give her a 4."

4. I didn't know a single THING about the game of football other than a touchdown was scored when someone with the ball ran into the end zone. I had NO idea what a first down was, what 4th down meant, off-sides, and all the various things...until my Senior year of high school. Yes, I went to EVERY single football game from my Freshman year on, all the post-season playoffs, and did not learn anything about it until the low brass section took me hand.

5. I played powder puff football my Junior year.

*umm, did you catch that? Re-read #5 and #4...notice anything ODD?*

6. I missed playing my french horn so much, that after I got married and moved to Tucson, AZ I joined the Pima Community College band. I had not played in 2 years and ended up first chair. Still not sure how that happened as the others in that band were good.

7. I also have played in church orchestras since being married, but the last time I played was when I was pregnant with Samuel. Morning sickness and playing the french horn didn't go so well together.

*extra: Did you know that if you put an M&M in the bell of the french horn and blow REALLY hard it will fly out the back and hit the trombone players behind you?*


Now, I have the honor to tag 7 people...hmmm

Cheri at Loving Lia
Carla at Delight yourself in the Lord
Shanna at Big Crazy Family
Leslie at Room for at Least One More
Carla at Baseballs and Ballerinas
Nik at Exceptional Journey
and because I know she will find this one so easy...sorry, couldn't help myself, Beth at Journey to the Hot Tub

More of Miss Katie

I think I'm always taking photos of Katie these days, but I can't help it. The boys continually run from the camera if they see it. I figure I only have a few more months before Katie is doing the same.



But this one, this one tells me that I only have a few more months of her cooperation. What do you think?

115 days of waiting - revisited

I posted this list of thoughts/questions on day 115 of waiting for LOA.

1. Katie is so beautiful. Yes she still is.
2. Look at her big eyes. eh...only big when she's not smiling.
3. What does her smile look like? It's breathtaking.
4. How firm is her grip when she holds your finger? Firm when she wants to, but that's rare.
5. Which toy is her favorite? Honestly, I have no idea, but I guess her Baby doll.
6. Was she held a lot as a baby? I believe she was.
7. Attached to Foster Mom? really attached or slightly attached? OH SO VERY VERY ATTACHED!
8. Does she have foster siblings? We think she did, at least one.
9. Where is she living while in foster care? With a family who farms.
10. Is she getting enough to eat? Yes she did. Never had hoarding issues.
11. Is she picked up when she cries? Yes she had to have been. LOTS.
12. WOW look how much she's grown! LIttle did I know she was a PEANUT!
13. Is her hair more filled in now? it is slowly growing in.
14. How big are her feet? TINY, like the rest of her - size 5 in infants still...yes, that's at age 26 months!
15. What do her toes look like? the cutest little piggies EVER
16. Does she have any teeth? Yes!
17. Is she crawling? Doubtful that she did, she could sort of scoot around to get to a toy though.
18. What is her favorite toy now? anything that played music I believe.
19. What is the building she's in for the photo? Foster Care Village community building
20. Does she like hair bows in her hair? YES!
21. Is she trying to talk? YES!
22. What is her sad cry? It breaks your heart.
23. What is her whining tired cry? It's quite annoying now...
24. What is her angry cry? No doubt what this one is.
25. What does her laugh sound like? I linked to it earlier this summer - infectious giggles.
26. What does her hair feel like when you lay your cheek on her head? silky smooth
27. What does she smell like? duh- like Katie. :)
28. Does she like baths? she didn't then, but does now.
29. Does she like to be outside? LOOOOOOVES it!
30. Does she have any pets in her foster home? I don't think so
31. Do her foster parents smoke? doubtful given her respiratory distress around it in Guangzhou
32. Does she like to listen to music? she LOOOOOVES it
33. Is she celebrating her 1st birthday? I have no idea.
34. Can she walk? at that time, probably not.
35. Does she like her foster Mom or her foster Dad best? MOM!
36. What does she like to do the most? be held OUTSIDE
37. Does she like to play with balls? Yes
38. Does she like baby dolls? Yes
39. Are her feet ticklish? a little bit
40. What does her belly laugh sound like? It's fun to listen to.
41. Does she have that baby fat roll on her wrist? NOPE!
42. Does she have baby fat rolls on her legs? NOPE!
43. What does her heart beat sound like? just perfect
44. Does she have dimples? a itty bitty tiny one
45. Is her hair all grown out now? Nope
46. What color is her hair in the sun? It's black with a slight brown tint
47. Does she have any friends? Yes
48. What does she do all day? Not sure, but she spent a lot of time outside
49. Does she go out to the fields with her foster parents? Yes
50. Do her foster parents even farm? yes
51. Does she have mosquito bites? Yes
52. What about getting any scratches? Most likely
53. Do her foster parents know about endocarditis? Possibly not
54. How much does she weigh now? Not much - 18.75 pounds in Guangzhou in late December - she's 21 pounds now
55. How tall is she now? short then, today she's about 32inches
56. Does she like flowers? Yes
57. What do her ears look like? like ears...?
58. What does her belly button look like? It's an inny
59. Are her feet skinny or fat? SKINNY
60. What color looks best on her? Pink, red, navy, black
61. Has her foster Mom been informed she's being adopted? I don't know when, but I know it had to have been heart breaking for her.
62. What is she eating now? congee - now, all sorts of stuff when she wants to
63. What is her favorite food? noodles...and chocolate
64. Does she have a favorite color? she's drawn to pink items
65. Does she have a television in her foster home? I honestly don't know.
66. Is she being read to? Not sure, but she LOVES for us to read to her so we think she might have been.
67. Is she being played with? YES
68. Where does she sleep? she loves her crib here
69. Is she attached to anything? we don't think so
70. How does she soothe herself? by sucking on her tongue, it's sort of weird what she does and I can't really explain, but that's closest...I have it in a few videos
71. Does she throw temper tantrums? YES
72. Is she spoiled?
73. Is she neglected? NO!
74. Is she loved? YES
75. Do her eyes light up when she sees her foster Mom? I bet they did.
76. Does her foster Mom sing her lullabies? I think so.
77. Is she protected from the sun when outside? Didn't appear to have been.
78. Is she happy most of the time? Pretty much.
79. What illnesses has she had? colds, flu, bronchitis...croup...normal stuff
80. Is she mostly healthy? Yes
81. What size clothes does she wear then - 6-12 month size, now 12-18 and a few 18-24
82. How does she feel to the person holding her? Not sure what I was asking...but she's a solid little weight that snuggles into your body...unless she's NOT wanting to be there, then she's this solid piece of little body squirming to get down that is really hard to hold on to.
83. Does she cuddle with her foster parents? I would guess a little at least. She's not really cuddly with us.
84. Is she affectionate? on her own terms
85. Does she like playing tickle games? Yes
86. Does she like playing games on the floor with her parents? Yes with us, I assume she did with her foster parents.
87. Can she feed herself? She can now
88. Is she still on a bottle? She was.
89. How much is she eating each day? Not nearly enough in my opinion!
90. How long does she sleep at night? about 10-12 hours!!
91. How long does she nap for during the day? about 2-3 hours
92. Does she like to go shopping? YES!
93. Does she squeal when she sees an animal? No, she's more serious about it, but wants to meet them.
94. What does her voice sound like? She won't be soprano. :)
95. What does her squeal of excitement sound like? very very high pitched
96. What words is she saying? My-Mom, baba, and lots we couldn't understand
97. How did she spend the Chinese holiday? I still wonder what they did.
98. Does she have big brothers around her? Not sure
99. Is her heart okay? YES!!
100. What does her giggle sound like? ABSOLUTELY LOVELY!
101. Does she get car sick? No
102. Will she tolerate wearing a bracelet? No
103. Is she being taught any English? No
104. Is she being potty trained? No
105. Is she smart? We think she is.
106. Does she have toys at her foster home? I bet she did, just not many.
107. What are her favorite toys now? My guess? A baby doll and a ball, possibly a Nemo toy.
108. How often has she seen the doctors? Fairly regularly it seems
109. Have they checked her heart again? Nope.
110. Has she completely lost her baby smell? Nope! She had not.
111. Does she have any marks on her body? A few.
112. Is she scared of thunderstorms? Doesn't seem to be unless the thunder is really loud.
113. Is she cold or warm natured? Can I say "medium?"
114. What noises scare her? Loud ones and unexpected ones.
115. How many more days will I wait until I hold her? 51 more days as it turned out.

Where have I BEEN?!

It's busy season for me here in household. In addition to homeschooling, selling our house (and building another), freaking out about economy, and the joys of parenting a 2 year old...I've also hit the busy time with the photography.

*faint* 12 sessions this month, mini-sessions, and trying to get my own card photos done.

Remind me sometime to post some "real" images. Not just the snapshot I am trying to take to capture out life with the kids, and those are the ones I mainly share here.

Giggly girl

I finally got my clothing order in for Matilda Jane, and I had to put Katie in this dress. It's an 18 month size, and while I knew this ran big...yeah, it really does! Katie is starting to outgrow this size and by the looks of this we'll be in it for the entire winter. *grin*

Something unexpected from blogging

I started my online life many years ago, while TTC our first child. It's been over 10 years since I joined an online forum, and expanded my knowledge of people in all walks of life. But something that I've recently realized has come of this.

I have a new-found greater awareness of others. I share in complete stranger's joys and sorrows. I hurt for them like I do for my friends I see in real life. My heart leaps for joy when things are going great, and sometimes, I cry that great big ugly cry over the pain others go through.

An unexpected benefit to blogging has been to learn from all these women. I am in awe at the grace so many show during difficult times, the grace they show when a loved one dies from cancer, or when they themselves are facing a terminal illness. I am totally in awe.

After reading some blogs, I realize that our world is full of amazingly compassionate people. I realize, on a daily basis, what blessings I have in my life. What all I have to truly be thankful for. I realize, quite quickly sometimes, that my irritation with the kids being kids is truly pointless because these times are fleeting. I realize, as well, that I'm normal. That others have days where their kids irritate them, even while facing some significant changes in their lives. But the grace they show in all circumstances makes me want to be a better person.

I learn from these bloggers. I learn so many things, and I truly hope, that one day I am able to give back a portion of what I've gained just from being part of this world.

Pumpkins pumpkins everywhere!

We visited the Pumpkin Farm with some local families that look somewhat like ours. :) It was fun, interesting, and tiring.


the boys jumped out of a barn window into hay bales.


the kids drug me through the hay bale maze, where Katie ended up with a yellowjacket on her head...crawling around...like ON HER FOREHEAD!


we now own 4 pumpkins - 3 bigger ones, one small one. The small one is mine.



never do anything humiliating when DiverG has a video camera. He'll totally get it on video to embarrass you with.

3 hours at the pumpkin farm wears us out...completely!



some of our friends (these were the only kids I got permission from Moms to post to my blog...there were others there...like DiverG with his video camera)





and lastly, How Tall This Year!

Sometimes I wonder...

My sister called to day and told me she needed to lodge a complaint. She claims Katie gave her youngest boy a black eye. He's 4 months older than Katie, and taller. ;) We laughed because none of us knew how he got the black eye, but I have photos of him during our photoshoot with the eye swollen (and sis, that eye is swollen in the very first one).

So, being the incredibly perfect Mom who is teaching her kids right from wrong. *cough* I asked my boys if they had hit him (unlikely, but who knows with the way the kids all played together), or if they knew if he'd run into something. Both boys said they didn't hit him, and they couldn't remember him crying anytime on Sunday. Nor did they remember him running into anything. I believe them, mainly because it's been over 2 days and I can hardly remember what we did that morning myself. We will be having a talk about being gentle around the little kids with them though.

Katie, however, jumped up and down and exclaimed joyously, "I hit! Eye!!! I did it! YAY!"

Uh...Sis, can I claim that as it happened BEFORE the pictures that I'm not sure if she did or not. She totally could have...perhaps on the walk up the hill from the cars? Honestly though, I don't think she did. I'm sorry though, and please do send us the photo of his black and blue eye.

Regardless, we will be having a talk with Princess Peanut that hitting other people is bad. I think if she knows her buddy was hurt she'd cry. Yeah...time for that talk.

Samuel's Day

It's 12:31am, and I'm sitting here thinking. Today is Samuel's birthday. He turns 6 years old. I remember this time 6 years ago, starving because my c-section required that I not eat 12 hours prior to it. I remember thinking of how in less than a day my life was going to change. It did. For the better. I was scared of that c-section because for JM's I had not been awake. This was my first birth to actually experience. I did not know what to think or expect, yet I had a child already. How strange was that?

Samuel came into this world charming everyone. He melted hearts immediately, and I remember breaking the rules that first night and climbing out of my hospital bed so I could pick him up...or just to stare at him.




He grew so fast, and I had my first digital camera (luckily) to more than capture all those wonderful memories.











I can tell from looking at these photos when I upgraded cameras and when I started learning more and more about photography.



Hard to believe he was just about 4 here. He's not changed too much has he.


these are all from 2007....



This was just a short 1 year ago...





Then we have 2008...











So, Happy 6th Birthday my special little man! I love you more to the MOON and BACK a gazillion million times.