Addendums, updates, update for expirations....homestudy headaches!

and you thought the paperchase ENDED when you were DTC!

We've had a minor change (for the GOOD) that our agency feels we should update our dossier for. Great! If it means less questions in review, then by golly I'm all for it.

Problem! Our homestudy expires April 1st. Medicals expire in Feb. Financials expire in Feb. Child abuse clearances expire im March and April. So, in order to do the addendum, we really need to a full update. Okay, doesn't seem so bad.

However, we should start our 171h renewal in October (end of Sept) timeframe, and the USCIS office does not want a homestudy that is more than 6 months old.

We're kind of caught between a rock and a hard place here. If we do the addendum, then we need to do a complete update. However, that complete update will be too old for the 171h renewal...which means a 2nd complete update in about 4 months.

Why are we running into these problems? Well, the letter that I needed to get the addendum took me about 2.5 months to get. 2.5 months ago the addendum would have been a no brainer...just send it in. The person I was relying on took forever, then the US postal service LOST it, then I had to have to redone...oh joy joy.

So, here I am, wondering, is the addendum REALLY that important? I have the letter, I can send that in to agency to send to China to add to the dossier. Then, we can wait until, oh June, and do the homestudy update (and include special needs in that). That way we can start the 171h renewal process (oh joy joy) in Sept/October with a homestudy that is current enough.

oh...those pesky USCIS fingerprints? expire May 2007.

it's causing some major frustration headaches I tell ya! Reminds me greatly of dealing with doctors and insurance in trying to get the infertility stuff covered.

You'll be happy to know...

I cleaned the litter box. Yes, I caved. Cleaned it, the kitchen, the bathrooms, did 6 loads of laundry (and put it away), AND picked up toys on Friday. I was Little Miss Productive (that's what happens when I must get up and moving by 8:30 because someone was coming to the house).

Yes, someone was to be here between 9-10am. I was up, dressed, and JM was doing his learning work by 8:30 (and I started with the major messy parts of the living areas). Piano tuner called about 9:45 and said he would be about 30 more minutes. Ended up getting here around 10:30, and he didn't leave until 1:15. Yes, it was that badly out of tune.

Okay, I'm not that bad of a slacker with my musical instruments, but it has only been in our possession for 3 years (or so). I hardly had time to play it, so it was not high priority and we knew it was going to be EXPENSIVE to tune (was right about that). Why now? JM started piano lessons. Mr. "I can hear the teenest tinest dischord" told his piano teacher that her piano sounded MUCH better and it was strange to hear the songs on her piano. *roll eyes* Yes, it was time.

Take my advice, when you plan on paying down lots of debt in a year don't start January off by signing up 2 kids for Karate, starting 1 kid in Piano lessons, and then realizing you need to sign kids up for summer camps and programs (not to mention swimming lessons...oh my I forgot to put swimming lessons on our schedule). OH, and we had to sign up for baseball as well.

All of you praying types, please pray that I will have some clients call for sessions!!! I would really like to get my student loan paid off this year before we decide it really is another child (or pet). It's been around as long as we've been married now and I really do NOT want to look at how much interest I have paid to Sallie Mae.

It's a silent war

But it's quite smelly (at least it gets that way each week). Dh and I play this out every single week. It's the War of Household Chores, with particular emphasis on the skirmish of the Litter Box. You'd think one of us would learn, or at least admit defeat and keep it from starting. But, honestly, it's one of those chores. One of the chores that neither of wants to do.


Yes, it's a smelly job. It's a nasty job. I even bought Dh rubber gloves to wear! We have the Litter Maid so there is really minimal scooping involved IF you stay on top of things. Which means that ideally the litter box tray would be emptied ever 2 days or so. It could probably make it every 3 days if you shook it once since the cat only seems to be able to do his it's business in one spot. (He's an it now and has been for close to 11 years)

This cat is Dh's cat. He picked him it out. He took care of all feeding and all litter box duty for at least a year before we got married. Dh even took care of the litter box duty for a good portion of the first years of our marriage (he loves me and the kids that much). But you see, it's now become...well...who can outlast the other. I have the super sensitive nose, he does not. He literally can not smell the knock you down and make you gag smells that I do.

Currently we're at a stalemate. He's not cleaning the litter box. I'm sleeping on the sofa. Since AF is visiting, there doesn't seem to be any incentive for Dh to clean the litter box. I know what is coming, it's happened before. I'm going to break down and clean it because the smell is getting too bad.

How bad is it really? None of my friends who come over can smell the litter box. Only I can. But then again, my friends aren't going into our bedroom, because they really have no NEED to go into the master bedroom. So, honestly, Dh doesn't think it is a problem. Once HE can smell it, then it will be cleaned. I think at this point it's time for the actual Litter Maid to be scrubbed with bleach again (which of course is MY job).

Now, the other "skirmishes" in the house involve the kitchen, the bathrooms, and the laundry. Which reminds me that I need to go hide the laundry basket full of clean unmatched socks before the piano tuner gets here (matching socks is one of the least favorite chores of our house, and I think Dh actually prefers cleaning that litter box to matching socks).

Target, shopping, and the mall

Oh my, am I ever in trouble when I go to Target. I always end up buying more than I intend to. Like this week, I wanted a pair of "comfy pants" to wear around the house at night. Not quite sweat pants, something with a wide waist band, and something with loose legs that go all the way down to the floor (which should NOT be hard as I'm closer to 5' than to 6'). I found 1 pair of sleep pants on clearance (pink of course). Found a sweatsuit, which I thought would be GREAT for lounging around the house some days. It was not sweatsuit material, but rather the thick french terry type material...ooh, it'd be great on an airplane as well. Then, I found a pair of jeans (IN MY SIZE!!!).

Since I had the boys I was NOT trying things on. TG for returns. The jeans were a little too snug (surprising actually unless all those oreos I inhaled the past 2 weeks mean I put on weight). I'm thinking it was the "stretch" label that means they were meant to be snug. Whichever the case may be, I returned them. I also returned the sweatsuit because...well...I don't need it. I went for the "comfy pants" only. I did keep the $3 brown turtleneck though. ;)

So, after returning these items (and buying drinks for myself and the boys), I headed to the mall. Yes, with the boys. No stroller, and NO gameboys. I was BRAVE. I think I found a pair of jeans - too bad the price was $89.50. *gasp* Then I found a pair for $29.99 (but holding them up they looked WAAAAAAAY too long). Again, I had the boys and I was NOT trying them on. So, back on the rack they went.

Somehow I found myself in the Disney Store. 50% off the sale prices! Wooohoooo!!! I think though I overbought. Both kids have 2 sweatsuits each (one for now, one for next year). Samuel got a fluffy fleecy jacket for next year. Samuel also got a Pirates jeans/shirt outfit. JM got an extra pair of sweatpants. They also got a Pirates fleece throw. Yep...spent WAAAY too much. But the sweats were $5 each. It's amazing to me how quickly $5 each item adds up! LOL

We left there and Samuel announces (quite loudly I might add) that he needs to go potty (#2 option as well...LOVELY). He does go, but evidently when he said "all done" he really wasn't as he informed me that he had some #2 in his croc while we were in the middle of store. I took that as a sign that we should just call it quits and go home! I wonder why I subject myself to this torture? Shopping with 2 boys by myself? Why do I do it?

Teaching 3 year olds Music

I can not remember if I mentioned this earlier or not, but on Wednesday nights I "help" with the 3 year old Choir. Well, we call it 3 year old Music as choir seems a little more ambitious than we get. There are 5 teachers for roughly 15 3 year olds (well 3-4 year olds as it goes by the school year). Yes, we NEED that many teachers!

This class is so sweet, energetic but sweet. We start out with a craft project where the kids glue things down to create something related to our "music" that week. For example, this week they made penguins to go with a penguin story (because you know it's COLD out there). Notice I said STORY and not song. LOL

We always start with this one song, "So Happy You're Here" by Hap Palmer. Anyway, it's one of those songs that stays in your mind...for hours. (if you click the link from the name you can hear the song!). The kids absolutely love this song, and they do the motions, they stand, they sort of sing. LOL Some words come out, sometimes it's just a hum, but they are trying. Hopefully by the end of the year we'll get them singing it. By the end of the year I should have it memorized.

Then, Miss Melissa (who has endless energy) leads them into the "5 Little Monkeys" song (same CD and listed right after the "So Happy You're Here" and yes, we're jumping, hopping, turning, and such. It's an active music class in case you didn't realize it from the songs. Another link for your pleasure

Eventually we all must sit down (and usually it's the teachers wanting to sit down first). Now, I know if you've ever worked with kids before, you KNOW that sometimes things come out of thier mouths that make you giggle. Sometimes they do something, but it never fails that at least one incident of giggles occurs. :) One little girl CHEERS after every song and says with a huge heartfelt sigh "I LOVE that song." After every book, "I LOVE that book." Sometimes we get "instruments" and the kids love to hit the rhythm sticks, or ring the bells, or shake the jingle bells, or strike the xylophone, or rub the sandblocks. Now imagine...15 kids, all at one time. It's LOUD. Getting them to stop semi-together is tough. One child will just keep playing that instrument (and it's a different child each week). Getting them to put the instruments away is easier than I imagined (Miss Melissa says, "Okay let's put them away and do the ______ song."). Typically, it's another "active" song. *GROAN* Tonight found me jumping, hopping, walking, flying, crawling, and giving hugs. I'm glad we didn't do the Hokey Pokey this week!

We do sing church songs, but Jesus Loves Me, Father Abraham (another active song), and such are rather hard for the kids. We've tried "I am a Promise" but the part where it says "I'm a great big bundle of potentiality" kind of messed them up. Boy was it cute to see them TRY to sing it though.

The last few weeks (well months) we've been reading "No David" and the kids repeat each line in the book, and make comments on each page. Like the first page "David's mom always says, 'No David.' " The kids say "NO, David!" when Melissa reads the first page. Then one little girl will yell out "He's not supposed to write on the wall!" When David breaks the vase, the kids say that he was not supposed to play ball in the living room. The first week we read that, one little girl said "OH NO, he'll get a spanking! He should have listened to his MOMMY." But I think their favorite page...is "Come back here David!" (you know the page where he is running down the sidewalk) The page where David is picking his nose (and you have to hear Melissa's tone when she read "No David" as it's PERFECT for a Mom whose told her child a million and one times to not pick his nose), well, on this page tonight one little one said "I can do that!" and proceeded to just that. *giggle*

What I've learned from this group, is that all these kids are good kids. They are all little individuals with great big personalities. We don't have to do everything religious. I thought when we started the year that we'd sing lots of children's religious songs. That all the stories would be Bible stories. But, I've learned, that it's mostly about having a good time and making them enjoy it. After all, if they enjoy coming to church, and we do some religious stuff...isn't that best?

2 years ago.

2 years ago we were in the midst of fertility treatments for our 3rd child. It had basically been 2 years of trying by this point (not all with fertility drugs of course).

2 years ago I sat in Church with JM, and struggled not to cry during the baby dedication service. I remember it being about 8 babies, and 7 were girls. The girls were the ones that really made me sad. I realized that my heart was longing for a daughter. It was Sanctity of Life Sunday (which is how I remember).

On the way home from Church I told Dh that I did want another child, but more I wanted a daughter. I didn't care if I were ever to be pg again. I didn't care to go through the newborn stage. I didn't care where she was from, or what she looked like. I wanted a daughter. I told him I was willing to go through with the fertility treatments and if I had another boy, I wanted to have MORE children until I had a daughter. Dh, who had been resistive to international adoption but wanting domestic adoption looked at me. He told me that during the service (he sings in the choir) that he felt that he too wanted a daughter. He felt that we should adopt, and more importantly that it was China we should adopt from. He didn't have a reason WHY, he just felt that it was what we should do. (basically we both felt G*d leading us this way)

Well, from this point until February 2005 I researched China adoption. I found a few websites (mainly from Shoahannah's Hope site). I requested information. I called agencies. I browsed the blogs I came across. I got a feel for agencies (and have since learned I did not scratch the surface of agencies). I knew that China had an age rule, but I was hoping I could start NOW and that I only had to be 30 when we got the referral.

Nope...had to be 30 when we were DTC. So, I had months to wait. Good news was that we could start paperchasing when I was 29.5. We continued to TTC until I turned 29.5, but without the fertility drugs.

Since this was obviously NOT enough to keep my mind from waiting to start the paperchase, we planned a trip to Disney World. :)

Now, it's 2 years later. We're logged in, waiting on a referral. What am I doing to keep myself from obsessing over the wait? Planning a trip to Disney World! As much as things changes, some things stay the same.

This is just too funny!

What Johnny Depp did when he saw Cap'n Jack for the first time on the new improved Pirates of the Carribbean ride at Disneyland. It's about the 2:15 mark.

Now, I have to admit, the Cap'n Jacks in the ride are AMAZING animatronics. Just truly AMAZING. So lifelike, and they captured the nuances of Depp's character from the movies so well.

My own little pirates are going to love this ride. Have I ever showed you all the Pirate photos I took of them? :) Well, I found 2 of Samuel.

Step away from the photolistings!

LOL

I think I've fallen in love (again). This time, I've actually written the agency (why? it's my homestudy agency who has the file!). Not sure how or if that would work, but gosh, she's gorgeous. LOL so, ALL the kids are gorgeous, but it's okay I can be biased.

It looks like the 6 month wait is going to be in effect May 1st, but my agency has not said anything...and it might even be an agency rule? Who really knows. I need to step away from the internet it seems as well.

It breaks my heart to see the photolistings though. So many children, so many little boys. I purposefully do not open the boy files. The ones that really get me are the children who are the same ages as my own children. I look at their files and wonder, are they learning to ride a bicycle? Is this 8 year old loving math? Is this 4 year old learning to count to 20? Is this 8 year old reading books? What does he (or she) think about science? I wonder what their personalities are like. It's so hard to tell from their photos, but every once in a while you can see one child who exhibits tons of personality. That one child that you look at the photo and think "oh I bet he's fun to be around" or "oh my look at that mischevious little grin" and you can fall in love...JUST.LIKE.THAT!

Our agency had one little girl, she was 6. If we were not really trying to maintain birth order, I would have had to requested more info. The info given to us was just about a perfect fit. I hope I can find out who is adopting her, because I fell in love with her too. I want to follow her adoption story, I need to see that happy ending. KWIM?

Like I said, "Step away from the photolistings!"

but if my agency and my homestudy agency could say "As you wish!" ah....my life would be a much happier one. My guess, I wait. So good at the waiting now. (well I can think I am good at the waiting)

SN program changes?

You know, I can handle the thought of not getting a referral until 2009. Why? Because every 3-4 months I have the "chance" of a referral from the special needs list. I have quite a few marked, I truly feel like our daughter will be from the waiting child program. However, with the changes coming in the SN process, I'm quite nervous.

No one knows for certain what will happen, but one rumor is that people logged in for more than 6 months may not choose a child off the WC list and change to the SN program. Well, crap. 6 months for us is March 2007. Our agency, during that time frame, *might* have had 2 lists come out. THAT'S not a lot to choose from. Ya know? Especially with the wait for NSN is probably going to be close to 30 months for me. Just doesn't seem right.

Now, I can see where they might say "6 months from LID" if they have the new program in place and this is for May 1st people. Or 6 months from whenever the new "online" list is available. But until then? what about those of us who do not get access to a list very often? *sigh* I've seen about 4-6 girls (from other agencies who were waiting) that I would have loved to find out more info and probably adopted.

Yeah, I'm at that "feeling sorry for Carla" stage again. I'm sure in a week or so, it will pass.

Confessions of a Procrastinator

I had so many things I wanted to accomplish this week. I didn't get hardly any of them done. I don't really know why, except that I procrastinated right through the week. I have a doctor's letter that needs to be county certified (yes that paperchase NEVER ends). It's an update to our homestudy, and since we need to update the homestudy..well...there we go.

The boys started Karate, and LOVE it. I mean LOOOOOOOVE it. It's quite satisfying to sit and watch your child be 100% focused and succeed (well okay it's not quite the smooth motions yet) at something. Then have them get in the car and tell you very sincerely "Thanks Mom! I LOVE Karate!" Even S, who is 4, is loving it. His class though is quite fun to watch. It's more of a "learning the basic motions and we all know they'll be white belts for at least a year" kind of class. LOL Sensei has tons of patience though, and he's wonderful with the kids. That took up 3 afternoons.

JM had speech therapy and orthodontist appointments this week. Plus a class at the Science museum. Not to mention our van needed a tune-up. Plus Wednesday night church activities, and well, you can see that my week through Wed really had NO chance to do anything at home. Especially as a I had an client scheduled Monday night.

So, here it is Friday. I have laundry that needs doing. Beds need changed. Dinner needs cooked. I have an office that needs de-cluttered. My kitchen table and bar are "hot spots" and need cleaned off. Then, the kids rooms, oh my they are a wreck. However, Karate "rules" are that they are supposed to keep rooms cleaned. :) That should help out today. If they don't, then 10 Bunny Hops are in their futures!

Off I go now, to stop procrastinating and start cleaning. Yeah. that's what I'm going to do.

My Wish for all my Online Friends

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $200 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires. May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address. And may 2007 be the best year of your life!

2006 Meme...

I've been tagged by at least 3 friends on my other blogs (and NO ya'll aren't getting those addresses...those are all password protected private ones on other places). Saw this on Wicked Witch's site (okay, gotta admit that I SMILE huge when I see that name pop up).

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?
I was fingerprinted. Left Samuel overnight with my Mom.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Yes, for the most part. Yes we will make more - but they're realistic ones.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sis (I have another nephew) and my friend Beth.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Just the USofA

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Katie to join our family.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 18, 2006 - DTC, then September 14, 2006 - LID. I have others, but not as big as those.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
it could be getting Samuel pottytrained, but isn't that HIS accomplishment?

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being patient during the wait for DTC.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Does Strep 2 times in 1 month count?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Vacation tickets. :)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The kids. They are maturing quite a bit and it warms my heart.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The kids. Some days it doesn't seem like they will ever learn common manners.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills like most people, we're still climbing out of debt, and Disney.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Disney with just Dh. :) The adoption of course.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
When Love Takes You In

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
I guess happier, about the same weight (could have gained a pound), and definitely richer (in both materially things and friendships)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
walked, ridden my bike, spent more time outdoors with the kdis

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
sitting in front of the computer (and what am I doing right now?)

20. How did you be spend the New Year night?
Went to a friends house for a little while, my headache from the morning came back, we left, got home at 10pm, put the kids in bed and watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (she was just evil!)

21. Did you fall in love in 2006?
Just deeper in love with Dh and the kids.

22. How many one-night stands?
bwaaaa haaaaa haaa...not a one.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Do you REALLY want to know? Battlestar Galactica, Stargate SG1 and Atlantis, CSI anything, NCIS, The Unit, Numb3rs, and a new SciFi show...ummm...eternity...no...Eureka! oh I really like that show (even IF I can't remember it's name)

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Don't hate anyone, but some people do make me want to scream sometimes. ;)

25. What was the best book you read?
Since I doubt you want to hear about the gushy fluffy historical romance novels, I'll put Paper Daughter by M. Elaine Mar. It was very very interesting.

26. What was the best movie you saw?
Cars

27. What was the most beautiful day you spent during the year?
Have to be being in Disney with Dh....alone...no kids.

28. Your best Christmas present?
ummm...not really sure.

29. Your wish for everyone for the new year?
That all your dreams come true! (oh yeah, I've been spending too much time planning our Disney vacation with the kids)


Gotta share: As I've been typing this up, I've had JM working on school work (it finally clicked what alphabetical order means) and Samuel has been playing with his Word Whammer and is practicing the Alphabet song. He's just about gotten it! :) so sweet to hear his little voice singing ABCD...EFG...

What to do this year?!

Reading of Rumor Queen website about referrals and how much longer to wait. So, IF they make it to 9/29/2005 this time, then I will have

1 day to get to October
31 days in October
30 days in November
31 days in Dec
31 days in Jan
28 days in Feb
31 days in Mar
30 days in Apr
31 days in May
30 days in June
31 days in July
31 days in August
14 days to my LID

that's...umm...350 days until my referral. Using RQ's math, that leaves us roughly 26 MORE months to wait. *where's the fainting from shock smilie when you need it?*

So, what to do? We've already gotten the bunk beds for the boys and combined them in the same room. LOL 2 years before we MUST have them there. Heck, in 2 years we could be living in a new house. But since that requires homestudy updates, I highly doubt it. However, our house WILL be "remodeled" somewhat.

I'm planning on remodelling the kitchen this year. Along with the bathrooms (if you do cabinets in one, may as well do all of it together).

Then, there is the "replace flooring upstairs" issue. I mean, between the kids and the cat it's quite dirty. It is this lovely "light cream" color, it was NOT scotchguarded, it's the cheap builders special, and well...mix all of that with my clumsiness in carrying drinks, or Dh's clumsiness in carrying snacks...and those "drippy" no spill sippy cups. *sigh* It needs to be replaced.

If that doesn't take up all our time, I can do the dreaded landscaping (with my brown thumb it will be on-going). I wonder if the "greeness" of your thumb is related to your fertility? LOL I've managed to kill a tree, 3 azalea bushes, and a hydrangea bush just in 1 year. We planted another tree last year as well (as soon as we realized I'd killed the first one) and we are anxiously awaiting spring to see if it too died. I suspect it might have. The lilac bush I planted, well, it had black spots on it most of the year. I looked it up, it's not susceptible to black spot.

Now the climbing rose bush I do not like, that I've purposefully tried to kill, pull out, etc. is doing wonderfully. Reminds me of the science fair experiment we tried. I thought I had it all figured out. Purchase 2 plants (I bougth Gerbera Daisies), leave one alone, the other pull EVERY leaf off except for 1. Water normally for 2 weeks. Observe what happens. Our hypothesis was "the plant with only 1 leaf will die." I mean for a Kindergartener and his Mom that seemed logical. Right? WRONG! The "full of leaves" plant died while the one with only 1 leaf thrived. I am still not sure that was supposed to happen!

We're also trying to grow lima beans. 2nd grade science is a bit more complicated. We're now on our 2nd set. At least I don't take the blame for this one. Dh is in charge. *snicker* He had to buy the plants for the "hide one under a cardboard box and observe" experiment. He bought cacti. LOL It didn't do anything. So, we tried it again with pansies. JM got the correct answer for that experiment. LOL I just wish we could grow those lima beans!

I think I might move Samuel back to his old room. I mean, why not? Hey, it might even speed up a SN referral. LOL He and JM want to play too much at night right now. Plus, JM might enjoy being able to sleep on the bottom bunk. Or I could turn that room into an office. That'd REALLY speed up that SN referral (or the CCAA) wouldn't it?

So, what are YOUR plans for this year?