2 years ago.

2 years ago we were in the midst of fertility treatments for our 3rd child. It had basically been 2 years of trying by this point (not all with fertility drugs of course).

2 years ago I sat in Church with JM, and struggled not to cry during the baby dedication service. I remember it being about 8 babies, and 7 were girls. The girls were the ones that really made me sad. I realized that my heart was longing for a daughter. It was Sanctity of Life Sunday (which is how I remember).

On the way home from Church I told Dh that I did want another child, but more I wanted a daughter. I didn't care if I were ever to be pg again. I didn't care to go through the newborn stage. I didn't care where she was from, or what she looked like. I wanted a daughter. I told him I was willing to go through with the fertility treatments and if I had another boy, I wanted to have MORE children until I had a daughter. Dh, who had been resistive to international adoption but wanting domestic adoption looked at me. He told me that during the service (he sings in the choir) that he felt that he too wanted a daughter. He felt that we should adopt, and more importantly that it was China we should adopt from. He didn't have a reason WHY, he just felt that it was what we should do. (basically we both felt G*d leading us this way)

Well, from this point until February 2005 I researched China adoption. I found a few websites (mainly from Shoahannah's Hope site). I requested information. I called agencies. I browsed the blogs I came across. I got a feel for agencies (and have since learned I did not scratch the surface of agencies). I knew that China had an age rule, but I was hoping I could start NOW and that I only had to be 30 when we got the referral.

Nope...had to be 30 when we were DTC. So, I had months to wait. Good news was that we could start paperchasing when I was 29.5. We continued to TTC until I turned 29.5, but without the fertility drugs.

Since this was obviously NOT enough to keep my mind from waiting to start the paperchase, we planned a trip to Disney World. :)

Now, it's 2 years later. We're logged in, waiting on a referral. What am I doing to keep myself from obsessing over the wait? Planning a trip to Disney World! As much as things changes, some things stay the same.