Tears of Joy

Someone actually gave me an award! ME! little ol' me. :) Made my day (especially after surviving without internet for so incredibly long...)

Tonggumomma at Our Little Tongginator gave me this award. Hard to believe that a comment from Lia's Mom about this great person who emailed her which led me to read her blog...which OH MY WORD you've got to read her posts. :) Her posts resonate with me. Tongginator and my kids would get along oh so very well.

In the spirit of the award - Given to people whose blogs make you smile, I'm passing this along to so many people.

Journey to the HotTub
Loving Lia
Fliss
Carla
and Carla

and really just about everyone listed on my right over there. I wanted to list everyone...but I don't think I'm supposed to.

10 years?!

I had an interesting phone call tonight. It was from the University I graduated from....take a second and REREAD that title. Umm..okay.

How can it be 10 years since I graduated from college?! HUH?! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?! I knew my high school 10 year reunion had passed a while back. But college 10 year? HUH?! That totally slipped up on me. I do not feel a day older than I did when I graduated. Honestly. Okay, a little less agile and a little more floppy...but older? No.

I can't be THAT old...can I?

10 years since my last semesters of College. You know, in a twisted sick sort of way, I miss college. I miss the hanging out on campus with friends, the studying (told you I was a little twisted and sick). I miss the old buildings and knowing your way around campus. I miss the bustling activity of the campus. I miss the festivities and activities. I don't miss the tests. I miss the SMELL. (Yep, twisted and sick.)

I know I can't be the only one, but do you ever dream about things associated with college. Like you have a very vivid dream that you forgot to take a final exam? Or you are back in high school and it's the first football game and you are in the marching band...except you skipped all the band practices? Do you dream that you signed up for a class then forgot to GO to it...all semester long? Then you get your grades at the end of the semester and your GPA is trashed? Please tell me I'm not alone in these dreams.

For your viewing pleasure:
On our Honeymoon (prior to my Graduating from University...by at least 3 semesters)

Sometimes during my college experience that I graduated from (I did manage to attend 4 different colleges and universities to complete my degree).

Heee...this is only 8 years old! Woo-hoo! April 2000.

OH MY GOSH YA'LL

I about lost it. Literally. Wednesday morning until Monday evening without the PHONE or INTERNET! Okay, I had my crackberry for email, but I could not browse my sites. I couldn't read up on things. I couldn't check in. Even worse? I could not TALK ON THE PHONE. I had things I had to do too.

I called anyone who has Verizon cell that I knew would chat with me...endlessly. Isn't my sister ever so kind to talk to me for almost 2 hours? She even looked up the weather forecast for our camping trip I was trying to pack for. Yes...I went camping. In a tent.

I went through withdrawals (thus the 2 hour chat with my sis). Serious withdrawals from the internet. I had things I had to do, but could not. I had to send a few emails through the crackberry, and do you realize how incredibly hard it is to type on that thing? Ugh. Not my usual speed of typing that's for sure.

So....I'm off to read. Soak in that joy from the glowing screen. Look for the posts I wrote in WORD soon....I guarantee they're too long too. LOL Reduced to actual work and writing blog posts in word.

oh...and I'm off to look up information on ticks. Seems I have found 3 of the little icky things now from camping. I itch though so I wonder if I have more, or just the thought of more is making me itch.

Katie's Sunglasses

We cleaned out the attic

So much hard work. So much junk. We're getting there on clearing out, cleaning up, and getting things ready to sell our house...eventually. LOTS of Christmas I had forgotten about. Old computer equipment. My digital camera point and shoot camera box...from 6 years ago. You know...that kind of stuff.

It's organized now, well, at least more organized. The loft looks like an tornado hit it, and it probably will until we can have a garage sale.

The garage is next. If we survive that is.

1st Dentist Visit

She wasn't quite sure about it.

Samuel has an itty bitty cavity they want to watch, Katie's teeth were counted (not hard when she's screaming), and JM needs to brush better. :) Not bad...considering.

They do know how to share.

Yes, I'm assured that my 3 kids know how to share...germs that is. It seems that all day my throat has gone from "feeling good" to that dry, itchy, scratchy feeling you get right before a cold slams headlong into you.

My 2nd cold of the summer.

Thanks kids. I've listened to sniffling, sneezing, coughing, hacking, and whines for a week as it's worked it's way through the kids. Now I get to experience each and every symptom for myself. I guess they thought I needed that joy as well.

Family Game Night

We played Monopoly with the boys for the first time. Dh has finally met his match.

I once again came in DEAD last. Like always. I always lose to Dh when we play together. ALWAYS. Just like he typically loses in Scrabble to me. So, I go out first (actually I concede and join forces with Samuel). Dh fights it to the bitter end, and ends up losing to Samuel which means Samuel gets ALL of his properties.

JM ended up with the light blues and the reds - with hotels, he also had Water Works. Samuel had the entire rest of the board. When I say Samuel is lucky with his rolling the dice, he is really lucky.


JM was not so lucky.

Just a heads up

You know if you know us in real life...and if so you'll know where I'm talking about.

I think we're going to go to the Park next week. Wednesday. *need to call my friend and let her know* It's the BIG one closest to us...not southeast of us. ;)

I won't be posting comments to this post (well at least not on purpose), so if you think you might be joining us...and I guess a TIME would be a good idea to include. Umm...sometime that day?! Will that work? I'm going to go with 10am though. Bring a picnic lunch, and hopefully I'll be able to get home in time for Katie's nap. :)

House update #1

I think we're going to hold off purchasing that one house, mainly because it's on a First right of Refusal right now AND since we've not sold our house already our downpayment (which is tied up in equity) is well...non-existant.

:)

I think, given that, our best option is going to be to build that house and specify "max of 7 months until closing" kind of deal. If we're ready and the house is ready we can close earlier. Otherwise, closing in Feb/March 2009.

*stress starts floating away*

It gives us both time to prep the house, get it sold, and save up for a larger down payment.

why yes, life can get busier

I thought we were as busy as we could possibly get, and then this week brought a sudden possibility of MOVING. Yes, moving. Something we've been talking about for 7 months now, and had decided to put off until 2009. Well, we found a house that would just about perfect for us, however, they wanted us to close by July 31st. Yes....2-3 weeks away. Our house is not even on the market yet. It's NOT READY yet either.

Yeah, we're not exactly the best at knowing our own limits sometimes.

So, the past 3 days have been filled with getting pre-qualified for loans (and woah, I've heard getting a loan is tougher now...but WOW!). Getting our house clean and ready (includes PAINTING our bedroom, finishing up the painting, cabinets rehung, trim finished...oh my gosh so much painting)...and it's not done yet. We have a ton of clutter to get out as well. We've had a realtor come and give us an estimate for selling it. We've looked at budgets. We've looked at OTHER houses just to make sure we are making the most informed decision we can.

All while living the rest of our normal busy day-to-day lives. Oh yes. Fun times. One day, in hopefully the not too distant future, I will get more photos up online from the beach trip and wedding we went to. Sometime AFTER I sleep again.

Why do we hardly talk about the tough parts?

You know, the home for months and attachment issues are still there. Home for years and noticing another attachment related issue. Home and having to go through doctor appointment after doctor appointment, finding out new things, ruling other things out. We never talk about how draining all of that can be. How difficult it is to continually go to multiple therapy appointments each week (or have them come into your home). How it's harder to do the therapy assignments, the "homework" if you will. How every time you play with your child it is therapy related play.

It's HARD. Yes, we do it. Yes we do it mostly without complaining. It's what parents do. But it's hard. It's hard to hear how someone newly home is easily adjusting with something you've struggled with. You feel jealous, then guilty for not being 100% happy for them. Then guilt for feeling jealous.

So much of our lives in the adoption process is judged by someone in relation to whether we would be good parents or not. It's hard to remember, that admitting we struggle with something doesn't mean we are not good parents. It means we are human. Heck, our reasons for adoption are even scrutinized greatly.

Why do we not feel comfortable talking about these things openly?

Now, I know I am extremely lucky in that Katie has not needed therapy. However, I have been through speech therapy with a child so I know the time involved in that. I've been through the process of getting diagnosis of medical things, and know how frustrating that can be. We, as parents and spouses, must be very proactive in what we do. We must do lots of research on our own, but tempered with the knowledge that we will surely find the worst case stuff. :) We are still dealing with some attachment issues, but thank goodness things are getting much better!

Another aspect that is hard, is the struggle of adding another child to the family dynamic. When you give birth, you have a "blob" of a baby who basically stays where you put them, is easily transported to places like church, ball games, etc. with minimal extra stuff. With adoption, especially international adoption, you incorporate an older baby. In our case, a toddler. Toddlers are not blobs. They are active. They have strong opinions. They needs lots of things to go to a ballgame - things like snacks, drinks, change of clothes, diapers, wipes, sunscreen, toys, strollers, blankets, and then some! Having a child who loves to play in toilets, getting 3 children dressed on Sunday morning...can be a recipe for disaster. I do not know how many times we've had to change Katie into a 2nd dress right before going out the door! The struggles with just day to day live, adjustments you have to make. We never talk about the realities of it all. We all know it's worth it, more than worth it...but no one ever talks about how tough just being a parent is.

For everyone out there who might still be reading, I'm not in a bad place or anything. I've been writing this post for, oh, 4-5 months. Roughly when the group after ours, or the 2nd group after ours got home from China. Lately, I've begun feeling jealous over the people going through that process (like I did for people pregnant with their first child after I had JM). I was deeply moved by our entire experience, and relished every bit of it (okay maybe not the very sick child part). I know, in my heart, that we are likely never to go back. Finances just dictate that. Not to mention the amount of time involved, and the changing of family dynamics. I'm learning to slowly accept and be content in my current circumstances (well not the house maybe). :)

About JM's photo

Yes, he DOES look older doesn't he? It's the "spike hair" that his Aunt Beth gave him. Complete with hair gel. See, after he'd swim he'd do this to his hair and we realized that we all kind of liked it. He loved it. So, one day she spiked his hair with gel.

I'm going to have the sides and back cut so it's shorter (easier to keep clean), and then I guess we'll enter the world of hair gel and spending time in the bathroom getting ready. At least for Church and outings.

*sniff* my baby boy is growing up!

"Foto Friday"

9 on the 9th

This is just too much fun to pass up! :) 9 on the 9th monthly meme, and this is the FIRST ever.

Okay, honestly, I was coming from Tonggu Momma's 9 on the 9th, and would really like to steal her idea. Maybe I should ask her. I mean, what better way for you to get to know me than to know 9 of my most embarrassing moments. OH WAIT...there are people I actually see and know who read this blog. Ummm...perhaps not.

The 9 best things about having boys! Yeah, I can do that. :)

9. You have an excuse to do armpit farts.

8. If you ever do see a real snake, you won't scream as you'll think it's another plastic one.

7. You get the chance to perfect the silent scream because of hidden legoes in the carpet when you go to kiss them goodnight after they are asleep.

6. You get the chance to learn that fake vomit, fake poo, and other such gross items are funny.

5. You learn the difference between a real cry that needs attention and one that is not...especially if you have multiple boys in your family.

4. You learn to fully define what clean means - their hair MUST be wet down to the roots, the back and sides of the hair must smell like shampoo as well, teeth should not look like they are growing things AFTER they've been brushed, a clean room does not have legoes in the carpet...

3. You know the difference between soccer cleats, baseball cleats, and football cleats and why they are not interchangeable.

2. You learn that breakfast made by your sons, with "flowers" picked by their hands, is really special. (Not to mention you wonder what they want....)

1. You learn that little boys really do LOVE their Mommy, and that your heart can melt when your 5 year old wants to marry you when he grows up.

Something I learned over the past 2 weeks...

and it's an important lesson I think. 4 main trips, 3 "short" trips, and little trips to the stores. We filled the gas tank at least 6 times (and then at least 2-3 times when it was like "half fill up" times). You know, THAT kind of driving trip? We started off, at home, with gas hovering around $3.96 a gallon, get to Savannah and Hilton Head and Tybee Island and gas was only around $3.98. This was the FIRST weekend. We drive home, and see that gas is now around $3.98 at home (it is quickly approaching the 4th you know). We drive back to Hilton Head, and gas is now around $4.02 there. As the holiday weekend progresses I notice that gas is back around $3.98 on Hilton Head as we are preparing to leave. NOT BAD!

Okay, Dh is probably going to kill me, but this is the lesson I learned. See, I ended up with lots of sinus filled cavities (either from allergies or a cold coming on) so I was not feeling quite up to driving much on our long drive home. We had a combined driving time of around 30 hours (easily) by this point in roughly 10 days. During this time we had "shot" a wedding, been on the beach, swum in pools, played conasta, watched movies, walked some, and tried to get portraits of our family.

Dh has been driving for quite a long time by this point, and we had made 2 stops already. Samuel informs us that he has GOT to go, and we're between Macon and Atlanta at this point. I've been "dozing" off and on with my sinus pressure headaches. Dh pulls off at the next exit, there is 1 gas station. He tells me, "We'll stop here, fill up and take Samuel."

I see the sign. "It's $4.12 for gas!" Dh replies, "well, he's got to go." I swear he then told me that we might as well fill up now instead of having to stop later as it would not save us that much later...just a few cents. Dh doesn't fully remember that, and since I had been sort of sleeping a little I could have just "inferred" that from the one sentence he does remember. When you've been married for over 11 years you do sometimes attribute sentences that would normally GO with a said sentence...a kind of mind reading.

I filled up our tank, 11 gallons. I'm still shocked by the $4.12 a gallon. Remember, we're between Macon and Atlanta so there are plenty of other "gas stations" nearby...well before we'd run out of gas as the tank holds around 20 gallons. ;)

We drive a little longer, probably around 100 miles or so (about where we'd have needed to get gas). Gas was $4.02 a gallon. So, in reality we spent 10cents a gallon more than we should have. At 11 gallons that's $1.10. NOT A HUGE DEAL. Just don't bring it up to Dh. ;) As we're getting closer and closer to home I comment again (see, didn't learn my lesson the first time) that gas is now $3.92 a gallon in some of the places...20 cents a gallon cheaper!

That's when I learned my lesson to NOT BRING IT BACK UP to Dh. If I didn't think $4.12 a gallon was a good price, then I should not have pumped the gas. Right?

Okay. Lesson learned. If we could have made it to the $3.92 a gallon place, that would have been $2.20 saved. Most likely though we'd have been pushing by that point. ;)

As I told Dh, it was nice to see the prices falling the closer we got to home. Too bad that right after I said that, prices started going back up a little. No I do not remember WHAT gas is here...and after all, it would change by tomorrow anyway. Suffice it to say, gas is NOT $4.12 a gallon here...YET!

Adventures in "Fish" movie.

Driving on one of the 4 trips back and forth from Hilton Head.

"Want fish."

"This movie? The Fish movie?"

"Yeah. FISH!"

*inserts Finding Nemo*

"Maaa-ooom! MOM!"

"What Katie?"

"Gook! FISH!"

"Yes, Katie there are fish in the movie."

*literally less than 5 seconds*

"MOM! GOOK!!!! Fish!"...."FISH! MOM FISH!"

*she continues in similar manner until...*

"Yes, Katie there are fish in the movie."

*another...oh maybe 10 seconds.*

"MOM! FISH! GOOK! FISH!"

"yes Katie lots of fish in the movie Finding Nemo."

she stays quiet, perhaps sensing our exasperation over her extreme excitedness?

*Nemo swims out to the boat, Marlin is yelling at him.*

"UH OH. Fish." *Katie baby babble rather emphatically sounding like she's telling Nemo to listen to his dad.* "Fish. UH OH. MOM. Uh oh."

"Yes Katie, Nemo got taken by the diver. He did not listen to his Dad did he?"

"Nope."

*Dory and Marlin run into sharks."

"Oooooh." *more babble, this time it's rather apparent she's telling the sharks off.* "Uh OH! MOM!"

"The fish will be okay Katie."

*Dory sings her "Just Keep Swimming" song....you hear a little bit of humming from Katie's seat.*

"UH OH."

*blessed quiet for a few minutes...really must have been drawn into the movie for a good little bit...then you know the part where Dory and Marlin ask for directions from the school of fish?*

"FISH!!!!! FISH!!!!! MOM, FISH!"

"Oh yes Katie that is a lot of fish isn't it?"

"Yeah. Fish."

All is quiet again, then Dory starts speaking whale.

"aaah....oooooh....fffffff-iiiiiiiiiissssh!" Yes, she started speaking "whale" and did an entire conversation in baby babble mixed with English words in whale-speak. I think Dh was laughing so hard he was crying.

All was quiet for a few more minutes, then the movie starts saying "mine! mine! mine!" You know that part? OH YES SHE DID!

"MINE! MINE! MINE!"

I started laughing and crying as well.

"MOM! Gook! Fish."

thankfully, I was able to say, "Yes Katie, that IS a good fish movie isn't it?"

"Yeah. Good."

Weekend at the beach

We're spending the weekend at the beach with family. Well, actually, I've not seen the beach this weekend so far (it's Saturday night), but I know it's there...just beyond the trees. I've seen Samuel swim all around the pool - without life jacket on. I've seen JM race Dh in picking up the diving sticks (it now takes a good 15 minutes to clear the bottom of the pool of those toys). We've seen fireworks. I sat and enjoyed a summer rainstorm from the safety of the back patio...and watched some golfers continue on with their game. Why do they keep going in the pouring rain? Especially when I could hear thunder? I slept until NOON! Yes, I'm still tired. We introduced the kids to "poppers" this evening. They loved throwing the little firework things on the ground and making them go pop. I learned to play Canasta, and beat Dh.

Tomorrow? I guess we'll actually go to the beach. I know we're doing portraits on the beach tomorrow (well, I'll set it up and hopefully someone can press the shutter for me, or the timer will do it's job). MIL wants the boys to wear their portrait clothes to church in the morning, so I hope they stay clean for tomorrow evening.

I hope the rest of you are having as wonderful a weekend as we are here...at the beach.

Happy Independence Day!

On our vacation to DC this year I ended up having a greater respect for what this day means. I knew it was a big deal for the founding fathers of our country to declare their independence. But I always said, "okay, that's great." You know. Sort of brushed it off.


But, this year, oh this year, I understand so much more. It was HUGE. It was treason. Well, it would have been if we'd lost the Revolutionary War. Those men put their NAMES on a document that would effectively be proof of their treason if we'd have lost the Revolutionary war. They'd have been killed for their actions. I knew that, but I did not understand that fully.



They also knew that not every colonist agreed with them. Many colonists were still loyal to England. Many did not want war. These men though, DID. Other colonists DID want to be free from the restrictions and laws that England was forcing on them. I learned so much at Williamsburg, and would have loved to be able to participate more in Revolutionary City.

One thing I learned, was that some people of the colonies did not like what the Bostonians did with the Boston Tea Party. That some people scoffed at their "war paint" and pretending to be Indians. Then later I was told WHY the Bostonians did dress up for the Boston Tea Party. I know I was told in school why, but I guess I never really paid attention. See, what I learned was that if someone could identify you then YOU were tried as a traitor (with all the gory punishment that entailed). I knew that. What I did not know is that if someone could have possibly identified you and DID NOT, then THEY were also tried as a traitor. The "war paint" was a way for someone to say "All I saw were Indians." Okay, that was what I think I heard amidst the chasing of Katie and appeasing of Samuel.

I enjoyed Williamsburg so much that I think I'm going to ask Dh if we can do the online electronic field trips with the boys this year. :)

But, back to 4th of July, and why today seems to be oh so much MORE to me this year. Our forefathers took a great big giant leap of faith. They believed in something HUGE. I think of how insignificant I am in comparison. I think of the people sitting in Washington DC now (well, figuratively) and I wonder...what would the people of 1776 have thought of them? Touring Mount Vernon, hearing about George Washington and what his views were on different things...I wonder how he would feel about today's leaders. I think of our military, and how the cost of our freedom is not cheap at all. I remember all the monuments we saw - the World War 2 memorial in particular. I remember the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I'm humbled by the sacrifice others have made.


So, today, on this anniversary of what we consider to be the "birth" of our nation, I'm going to reflect on all that has occurred to bring our nation to where it is. I'm going to think of where we are headed as a nation, and I'm going to celebrate our past, our present, and our future.

Playdate at the gardens

While the boys are with their grandparents living it up at the beach, Katie and I met her friend E at the gardens for a playdate. Well, a photo-op playdate. They saw FISH, and flowers, and bees, and rocks, and dirt, and bridges, and more dirt, and more rocks, and more fish, and oh yeah...rocks. It was so incredibly cute to listen to E say "Come on!" and then to hear Katie tell E "go back!" They played beautifully together, and I told E's Mom that I could totally see them getting into trouble together in a short year or two. We could see them put their heads together, plan something, and then execute that plan. Oh yes we could. :)

Daddy's Softball Game - take 2

Katie went with us to the ballgame again, this time without the boys.

She fell and got a boo-boo.


She wanted the camera.

NOT her toys we brought.

She waved "bye-bye" to me.

then she ate M&Ms

She wasn't a big fan

For Cheri

When we were in China, Cheri handed me a swimsuit that was not going to fit Lia. I thought it would be too small for Katie. However, I was surprised it fit her. I have some of Katie on the beach in this...but look how cute!


This is Katie NOT swimming! She wanted no part of swimming this past weekend. Oh well, perhaps one day she'll consent to get in the big pool or her little baby pool.

For those who want to know what size Cheri handed me in China, it's a 9 month size. My little 23 month old wears a 9 month size in this brand. The Circo brand one is slightly small on her, and it's a 12 month. The Dora one is 2t and it's a tad big...almost as big as the Old Navy one that is 18 months. LOL

One sleepy girl...

Katie does not typically give in to sleep anyplace other than her crib or the carseat. Even then the carseat is a huge deal to fall asleep in as she whines a good bit before giving in (letting us know she's NOT happy with the situation). One afternoon we couldn't believe it when she fell asleep in her high chair, I guess our busy lives had taken a toll finally.