Why Homeschooling? Part 2

So, what were the questions and answers?

1. What about socialization? This was truly scary for me as I am not a great person to seek out others and do the playgroup thing. We had JM in sports, church activities, and the cover school had a "co-op" class one day a week. In talking with other homeschooling families, I learned that there were lots of opportunities available. I also read online about socialization and how it occurs in traditional schools. I had to adjust my thinking slightly as I was thinking "socialization = friendships and playing" and not the "socialization = how to function in a classroom and society." Both are needed, and homeschooling families can teach both. I still agree with my friends who are teachers that children DO socialize with other kids in school, but I also agree with the homeschooling world that says that socialization in schools is not "real world" socialization and that children who are homeschooled learn how to operate in the world and learn how to interact with people of all ages. Read the definition of socialization. My goal, as a parent, is to train my child how to act in the world and in society. Now, I'm not going to say which way is better, but do sit and think about the training your child(ren) get in how to act in society. Where does that happen? Dh and I realized that mainly how JM was learning to act came from us, from church, and from experiencing life as we took him places. Yes, he could learn some of that from school. Yes, it's easier to make friends at school - same age friends. Yes, traditional school environments do teach children skill as well, but I believe we could teach those as well (and through activities like classes at a museum, classes at cover school, etc.).

4-5 years later, I sort of laugh about this fear of ours now. Everyone we meet is surprised that JM is homeschooled, and does not realize it until we say something. However, I do get quite a few comments from people that tell me that he is very well behaved. Dh, who teaches a church class with boys that are JM's age, has mentioned that he does seem a little more naive in some regards. JM doesn't know all the curse words, nor does he care about certain clothing styles or hair styles. He doesn't know the latest and greatest fad. We have both observed that he plays happily with children who are older and younger than him.

2. What about friends? Where would JM make friends? Well, Dh and I both wanted him to make his best friends from those at church. Our church, however, had few kids going to the elementary school we were zoned for. JM, is fairly outgoing, and talks to just about anyone. We figured that going to church, playing sports, and participating in "Friday Classes" would fuel enough "friendship possiblities" for him. We also realized that we are limiting his pool of friends to those with similar values and family structures as ourselves. This, we recognized, had both pros and cons to it. The pros were mainly for early elementary ages where we knew he would not be introduced to things we didn't approve of early on. Cons were that we would have to seek out opportunities for him to develop relationships with families that are different from us. We also realized that if we controlled his friends, then it was entirely possible he'd never have to learn how to deal with teasing, or bullies, or confrontational people, or that sometimes you just don't plain like another person.

Excuse me while I laugh for a few minutes. This one was totally unfounded, and honestly, JM has dealt with all of the above and more. He seems to make friends easily. We have noticed, however, that there is a certain awkwardness to his social skills that is not present even in our homeschool friends' kids. It's more of a "not reading body language clues" kind of awkward. I do think, if he were in a traditional school environment that he would be teased more and have less friends.

3. How will he learn "classroom behaviors" and other things you learn in school that are considered "general knowledge" type of things? This was a little hard for me to understand WHY this would be important. But, honestly, he does need to know that you raise your hand to ask a question or make a comment. He needs to learn that you can't go to the bathroom just whenever you feel like it. He also needed to learn that sometimes he does have to wait for others to finish their own projects before the class can move on. All sorts of things he needed to learn! Well, we addressed this through the science museum classes, Sunday School, and co-op classes.

No issues here. :) It was much easier to teach than I thought.

4. How do we make sure he learns all he is supposed to learn? This is probably the one that keeps me up the most at night. I worry he's not learning enough, or I'm forgetting something important. But, as I learned more about curriculum I learned that he WILL learn quite a bit. I also learned that we have to have him tested to make sure he is on level with other kids in our state. Teaching a child to read, in my opinion, is the greatest responsibility. The most frightening thing I have ever undertaken.

Let's just say achievement tests keep us honest and tell us quite clearly what he does and does NOT know. ;) I still stay up at night worried about this, but I'm dealing with it better and better. I'm not so worried about Samuel though as I have seen how well JM has done with things.


5. But what about the separation of Mommy and Teacher, and the fact that struggles will ensue in trying to get him to do the work? Much like parenting, I have a million theories that will help this, none have worked yet. However, we do fight less than I thought we would. He understands that this is "learning work" and he must do it. If he does not, then he would be in school and having to do this in school. He knows that we have tests and oversight making sure he IS learning what he is supposed to be learning.

Some days it's a good thing Dh can come home and take over in the evening. Samuel and I are at odds more than JM and I ever were. Doing schoolwork at night is NOT outside the realm of possibilities either.

6. But what about CALCULUS? Seriously, this was a question I was asked when I mentioned I was homeschooling JM for Kindergarten! I told everyone then, and tell them now when I get that question. I have a BS degree in Math. I love calculus. I have no qualms teaching that to him, but other subjects? Well, that is why I will seek out other classes for people who love that subject to teach him. However, that is WAY down the road, and we're not even sure if we will be homeschooling through high school or not.

I fear teaching the kids biology/dissection, physics, and English composition/grammar/essay writing...oh and finding the meanings in classic literature. Math? Math should be easy to teach for me. This next year, JM is taking a class called "Young Authors" where he will learn about writing a book and be required to write, illustrate, and "publish" a book. I'm hoping this will help him learn and remember his grammar better. If not, then we will send him to one of the many homeschool classes on "grammar and English" enrichment taught at the local community college.

7. Well, what about high school? If we choose to homeschool through high school, then we will have to work closely with the cover school. JM will take any classes from others that I can not teach him, or find a good curriculum for him. There are homeschool leagues for all sports. Homeschoolers participate in all academic team competitions, they have orchestra, they have drama teams, they have yearbooks, senior trips, newspapers, student councils, and yes...even Prom. ;)

This is all still true, and Dh has now come to realize how much is readily out there for homeschoolers now.

If you have ANY question you would like me to address, please ask. :) I will be happy to try and answer, or try and find the answer.