Mother's Day hard thinking

This Mother's Day is both wonderful and contemplative. I've been thinking about Katie's foster Mom and her "first mom" or "birth mom" quite a bit. You see, Katie is an amazing girl. Truly breathtakingly amazing! Not that I'm biased at all. I wonder what her mother in China is thinking about and doing? Does she wonder how that little girl she gave birth to on August 1st, 2006 is doing? Does she even have a clue that 2 people around the world are raising her now? I don't know. I hope she can feel peace if she does think about her. I hope she is not terribly sad, and honestly I wish she didn't suffer any sadness when thinking of that little baby. I will say this, her parents in China were STRONG of mind. The traits passed on to Katie through them show me that.

But Katie's ability to love, to show love to others, to accept love from us...well that comes from her Foster Mom in China.

With the boys, I know how much I love them. How much of their personalities are directly attributed to us. I can look at them and say "that smile" came from us or that stubbornness came from me, or really just about every aspect of their personality. Katie, though, I look at her and think "Wow, her Mom and Dad in China have to be gorgeous. They have to have the best lips, the cutest smile, the prettiest eyes. They must be so smart, so funny, so out going, and love music." I think of how much I love the boys, and I think about things they could be thinking about Katie.

That's why this Mother's Day is more contemplative for me than those in the past. It's definitely tremendously JOYOUS and wonderful....but it's tempered by thoughts of what her Moms in China must think about her. I wish I could let them know that she is doing really well. That we love her so much.

Mother's Day this year is special though. I have 3 wonderful children. I have my boys, whose hugs and kisses mean the world to me. They participate any time I ask for a photo, and do so without too many bribes. I have my daughter who tolerates my dressing her up. Her hugs and kisses, are rarer for me to get but are the more precious for it. My husband is wonderfully tolerant of so many of my quirks, and has loved me for over 12 years.

But, more importantly, this Mother's Day I've been thinking about my Mother and my Mother-in-Law more as well. They are both very special women in our lives. My Mom was super nice this weekend to give us our FIRST night out on a date since we brought Katie home. (Dad helped as well of course) Everyday we live with our kids, we are reminded about how great it was that we were both blessed with Moms who cared for us so much, who invested so much time in our lives....and who love us still! :)

Grandmothers...our grandmothers are in our thoughts this day as well. We have a wonderful legacy of women in our families. I hope I am able to pass that legacy, that history of both our families down to Katie, for her to appreciate when she is a mother. Wow. Just thinking of her as a mother seems odd. But it's the circle that will one day complete.