An Award?!

Carla (at Baseballs and Ballerinas) nominated me, and I got this huge warm fuzzy feeling. I've never gotten an award here. *all together say awwwww*

But really, do I have a purpose here? This blog was created as a way to write about our journey to China to get Katie. It was a way to share photos easily with all our family members. It was a way to write out my feelings as we waited for each piece of paperwork. So, to me, it does serve a purpose. It's a personal one. It's not a purpose others would see easily. I hope people enjoy reading about our family, I hope that someone reading this blog might think about adopting a child, I hope that our extended family gets plenty of good information and the all important photos of the kids. ;)


Here are the guidelines -

AWARD GUIDELINES:
1. Awarded parties must nominate five people who have not received the award.
2. The blogs that receive the award must serve some purpose.
3. In their post about the award they need to link back to the original entry.
4. Awarded parties must post the award banner on their site. The banner must remain linked to site.
Eric Novak's

Here are my nominations:

umm...I dislike nominating people. So, if your link is on the right hand side over there? You HAVE a purpose!!! You enrich my life, you share your lives with little old me, and you give me something to read or see on the days I need contact with the outside world.

I nominate you, that is if you were not already nominated! ;)

Dinner tonight...my wild haired child

Katie pulled her bows out and I just didn't put them back in this evening. Thus...wild hair. ;)


Hey...the black box is back! Time to pull out my cheese grin...



Ha, you just think you can get me to smile a real smile...I'll show you!


You will put that down eventually and give me one of those cookies...right? Just checking because these Chicken bites are getting a little old and I need that sweet cookie soon.


Okay, purse those lips, look cute and perhaps she'll grab that box I see behind her...the one with the yummy cookies in it. (notice piece of pasta in the hair? that's why the bows were not replaced)


Yeah, that's the box with my cookies! Give me one!!!!


I found the secret to my little girl's heart. Cookies. :) Just wait until those Girl Scout cookies come in, she's going to be in heaven with the Trefoils.

She's a resilient little girl

Today has been MUCH better. She's either forgotten about the blood draws or she's forgiven me. Either way, while we still aren't 100% back to normal, we're very close to it. Of course my definition of normal may not be what you had in mind.

I even managed to get laundry done today! Hooray for clean clothes. We had a calm day finally, after almost a full week of hectic schedules. Tomorrow promises to be calm as well. I think all of us needed that right now.

While doing laundry I typically save the sock sorting for last. I really do not like sorting socks, and despite my best attempts to pass that chore off to the boys I still end up doing it. Katie decided to "help" today by moving socks from one clean basket to the next clean basket...or the floor. It was really cute.

She's currently walking around holding, hugging, and playing with a baby washcloth. I'm not taking it away. It's almost as cute as her loving on her baby doll. Almost. Baby Einstein video is almost over, so my brief interlude of computer time is up.

Sorry, no photos today of Katie-bug. Or the boys. LOL Just too busy trying to clean and take care of my family!

3 week step back

I don't often write about our struggles here, but I need to. Adoption isn't all roses, there is a lot of hard work involved in helping your new child attach and bond with you. There are struggles that you face that parents of newborns do not, but many of them are the same.

For one thing, we've been lucky that Katie has been sleeping through the night. It seems most of the kids go through some sleep issues and wake up a lot. Unlike when you have a biological child, we can not let Katie cry it out. It's not healthy for her because she does not know that we will always be there for her. She needs us to go in and pick her up, to love on her, to help her get back to sleep. While we don't have issues with Katie staying asleep, getting her to go to sleep has been rough lately. She just doesn't want to go to sleep. It takes a good 30 minutes or so to get her to the point we can lay her down. We learned, quickly, that if she falls asleep prior to being laid down in the crib she will wake up and cry. If we lay her down still awake but almost asleep, then if she wakes up in the middle of the night she doesn't cry and will go back to sleep.

Today? She's started having nightmares. We think, due in part to a rather traumatic experience yesterday at the doctor's office. It took 3 tries to get the blood drawn for various tests. I was holding her (on the doctor's recommendation after seeing us together and how attached Katie was to me). We are comforting her, but it feels like we've taken multiple steps back.

Another thing that has been very hard is how clingy Katie has been since right after Christmas. Dh went to work, and she was not sure what was going on. Things changed. She did start attaching to me, but she was anxiously attached. Which means I had to hold her as long as she was awake. This puts a great damper on going to the bathroom. It means no showers. It makes fixing dinner harder. I do have an Ergo carrier which helps, but there are times I need to be able to put her down. There was a time it had been over 3 days since I had a shower. Why? Because I couldn't leave Katie in her crib to take one in the morning (I don't get up before her and Dh is already gone for work when she wakes up...and NO I am not getting up with him). ;) Remember the Cry It Out? Can't do that...so no crib. Same reason we can't do the pack and play...although it could be in our room (just not close enough to the shower for her to be able to SEE me). Our bathroom is too small to put it in there...or anything like a supersaucer. That adjustment was tough on me, but Katie didn't seem to mind. ;)

Juggling 3 kids' schedules has been harder than I imagined it would be. Doctor's appointments (and we had orthodontist appointments, dentist appointments, etc. in this time period as well), extracurricular activities, birthday parties, school stuff, and church (we're with Katie there all the time as well). It's just a struggle to figure out enough time to clean the house, do the laundry, cook, and actually get to a grocery store!

So, today, after our traumatic experience yesterday, Katie decided that she was mad at me. She pushed me away, she refused to look at me, she refused to cuddle and snuggle, she refused to let me hold her, she didn't want me feeding her, and most of all she did not want Dh leaving after he came home. There were moments when she played with me, when she smiled at me, but if she thought about it she remembered she was angry with me and pushed me away. It's like we have taken a 3 week step back. We will work through it, and I doubt it takes 3 more weeks to get back to where we were, but it's hard emotionally to go back to that phase now. I'm taking it as an opportunity to work more on the bonding activities...to cement them in her brain.

I did not attempt to take photos of her today. But I can leave you with the photo I took on Sunday - with her cute bows that Beth made for her! :)

Do you need bows?

I think Katie needs more! ;) I know many of you make bows to help raise some money for your adoption, but I have a friend...she's actually one of my best friends forever from all the way back to Elementary School (and no I won't embarrass both of us by posting a photo from back then...although I might pull out that middle school winter dance photo! LOL).

She is a wonderful mom to twin 2 year olds and a 1 year old. Did I mention she is a WONDERFUL Mom?! She started making these bows when her daughter was a baby with barely any hair (she's 2 now and has lots of hair). Beth was so excited for us to be adopting a little girl that she started giving me bows BEFORE I had a referral. When I got Katie's referral and we saw the hair, I was given so many wonderful bows. I need more though. ;) I'm addicted to putting bows in Katie's hair now.

Beth just opened her ETSY store, and while she only has 6 bows listed, she can and does make any color combination, ornamentation, style, and what not you could ever want! Just ask, she'll make them for you. Trust me on this as I keep asking specifics for clothes. She's great too at matching Gymboree lines (and I think her bow money funds her Gymboree clothing fund).

Laney Bug Bows

That's a link to her store, and I'm going to add it to my sidebar as well. If you know of any other great home businesses I will be happy to check them out (product wise and then link up). :)

For those of you who saw Katie in her Valentine's Outfit last Sunday night at church, Katie was sporting pink and red corkers like the UT Orange and White bows (Beth calls them "corkers" when talking to me...guess it means corkscrew ribbons?).

Photos from the Portrait Shoot

I prefer outdoors or less formal shots, but these had to match what I have of the boys (or at least blend in) and they had formal portraits taken at 1 year. Yes, JM was in overalls in one, but the style was more formal.

I bought this dress around the time we decided to adopt from China. I chose a 12 month size because we were thinking NSN and knew our daughter would most likely be less than 12 months old when we got her. I thought we'd be traveling to get her in the summer of 2007 at the latest as well...thus sleeveless white dress. Not to mention it was on big time sale at Children's Place when I did get it! LOL

1 year portraits - a little late

With the boys we had their portraits taken on their 1st birthday (or very close to it), and then did a collage in a frame of them. One "good" shot and 4 personality shots. Each morning for the past month we've thought "We need to get Katie's done!"

Today was the day. We tried it. She's so mobile though it was like an aerobics workout. Up down turn around....dance dance dance....up down...fly like an airplane...up down...sit down...crawl...up down up down, and that was just US the adults. It was a long experience, and I'm not sure we got anything. We'll see though. I'm sure a few will turn out cute, might be the screaming her head off ones though.

Out-takes are good for a few laughs though...well more than a few laughs!

At the end, when it was dinner time and Katie was beyond done, we attempted all 3 kids together. That series of out-takes had us rolling in the floor laughing so hard! Samuel made these faces the entire time (well other than a couple shots), and there were a few where Samuel's faces rubbed off on JM...and then Katie. I might just have to show those.

Grandparents, yes, this means you should be getting photos of Katie in time for Valentine's Day! :)

Sweet!

While the boys were at Friday classes, I had Katie alone and I tried to get some portraits done. I have a few, but to say she only wanted to cooperate on her terms is an understatement. This was when we were all done, and one of the only smiles I got. :)

She's so sweet though that even the non-smiling images are cute!

1 month with us

Everyone asks how Katie is doing when we talk to them. She's really doing well. We all have moments here and there, but for the most part she's amazing. She has now been with us for 1 month (a little over 4 weeks). We've been home for 3 weeks.

Katie babbles constantly. We suspect she was speaking Chinese. She is saying a few words (those listed previously). Only now we are more convinced she knows what they mean. At least she pats me and says "momma" and when the cat meows, she says "MOW?" She says "uh-oh" when she drops something (on purpose mind you). She falls down, or "crashes" a toy on a table and says "Ka-boom!"

Katie is truly walking now. Before we said she was taking steps. She has started walking across the room, and is getting much faster. In fact she is almost running. It's not super great as she is super curious as well. We're having to relearn how to keep a curious active toddler out of things.

Katie is eating very well these days and trying to feed herself. She's only eating Gerber Stage 3 stuff (thickened with rice) but gobbles down the food. She's also finally started letting us know in some way she is thirsty or hungry (mainly she points and whines...particularly at the kitchen). It was tough there in the beginning when she did not give us clues that she wanted a bottle or some food. We had to guess.

She is laying her head on both of us, more so on Dh than myself. She runs to us and squeals when she sees us. She cries if one of use leaves the house (no longer when we leave the room unless we are the only one in the room with her...she still doesn't like being left alone). She will be okay if JM is in the room and pays her attention (hey I can finally go to the bathroom!).

When we meet new people, she no longer buries her head. She no longer flaps the hand at them that means "Go away." She smiles at them from our arms. If we put her down to walk, she laughs and giggles (but stays near us). She will give anyone "five." She will not go to anyone but Dh and I though (with the exception of a special person at Dh's work who spoke Chinese to her which she liked). If someone tries to hold her, she will turn in toward us (of if on the floor run and hug our leg and lift the arms up to be picked up).

Sleeping? Why is this the first question asked from everyone? LOL Katie has settled into a pretty good routine. She wants to nap around 2pm. She'll sleep for 2-3 hours. Getting her INTO bed at bedtime is hard these days (cries at being left alone...in the darkened room). But once asleep she does not wake up until the next morning (or at least she hasn't for about a week). She sleeps until 8-9am. We try for 12 hours of sleep at night, and 2 during the day. Daytime naps are easy to get her to go down for. We bought the Crib CD thingy and it's helping. I play lullaby music at night (same one nightly), and during nap she gets her Chinese CD or Little People CD, or another if I can find some more. :)

She does voice her displeasure at being disciplined. She likes to playfully hit me (at least I hope it's playfully). I catch her hands, hold them, look her in the eye and say "NO HITTING!" rather sternly. She cries. One night she hit hard, and I was a little more stern. She melted in my arms and cried her little heart out and CLUNG to me. I patted her, hugged her, and told her I still loved her but I did not like being hit.

I can not believe it has already been a month!

Wow, that's a lot of pink!

Tonight Dh was helping me with some laundry (well, he was standing there as I was putting the load in to be washed). As I was putting handfuls of PINK items in the washing maching, he commented, "Wow, that's a lot of PINK! I don't think we've had that much pink total in our washing machine in the 11 years we've been married."

I think he was exaggerating a wee bit, but I do admit that it IS a lot of pink. But in our defense, we had 2 boys. That's a LOT of blue and green. Katie looks really good in pink. She does not, however, look good in green or yellow or orange or peach or coral which are other "typical" girl colors. So, we are limited to pink, purple, and red clothes for the most part.

Of course I'm not complaining!

Now if I could only stay off that big auction site. I'm resisting so far on buying items, but it's been close a few times (been outbid). I've fallen in love with 2 outfits in particular...both shipped would be just over $50. I'm resisting greatly. It's going to be a contest though between my will power to NOT buy anything and Dh's willpower to NOT eat out. Who do you think will give in first?

Katie LOVES her brothers

Oh look it's my brothers! I just LOOOOVE my brothers.


OH MY GOODNESS!!! They are coming over to play with me! They are going to pay me attention!!! Wonder what they are going to do?


*GIGGLE* Oh JM's tickling me! Make him stop!!! *GIGGLE* Oh I love when he tickles me, I just laugh and giggle. When he does stop I grunt and whine until he tickles me again.

No, this is the BEST news!!

Tonight, holding Katie getting her ready for bed, she patted me on the stomach and said "Momma" and then she patted my arm and said "momma" and then she blew me a raspberry.

Cardiology Appointment News

Okay, the rest of the family has been told...I think. If not, it's all Dh's fault! I felt like I needed to tell them in person Katie's good news. :)

The doctor did the ??? and looked at the heart:

#1 - NO tricuspid valve regurgitation
#2 - the PFO really did close as per the 8 month ultrasound that was done
#3 - the PDA is still "barely" there. It is so itty bitty tiny that there is nothing that they can do for it at this point. Likely she'll have it the rest of her life, but it might still close (doubtful though).
#4 - No other abnormalities found

I asked what this meant. The doctor said that we should consider her as having a normal heart. I asked about restrictions. He said none. Thinking this was almost too good to be true, I asked specifically about going to Disney (priorities you know). ;) He told us that the signs on the rides that say "Do not ride this ride if you have a heart condition" do NOT apply to Katie.

He wants to see her again in 3 years just to check and make sure the PDA is not any larger (he doesn't expect it to be).

Isn't that the best news?!

and she's OFF!

Katie is really walking around these days. She's almost running as well.



Who else has this ability? I sure don't!

rejects for 366 challenge

It was rather nice today, and we were able to finally take down the lights that were up outside. Christmas is gone until November 2008. Katie enjoyed getting outside and playing in the grass. I would stand her up, she'd sit back down and explore the grass. Oh well. She had fun. Looked really cute in that bunny rabbit hat as well. ;)



After lunch we took the boys to ride bikes, and put Katie in the stroller. I think she enjoyed it. At least she didn't cry at all, she even giggled and smiled some (especially when I ran with the stroller).





Why yes I do have other children!!! See, JM is still alive. :)

more of Katie from the challenge

this was my 2nd choice for the 366 challenge tonight...well Saturday. ;)

She's telling me off in her head, I know she is. She wants a bottle and wants it NOW. Not to mention she's on the floor and I'm holding the camera. In her mind, that camera should be put down and she should be picked up! ;)

So I went to the Post Office...

and I shipped 3 packages and bought a sheet of Disney stamps (have you seen them? oh so cute)

and then I thought, I'm right here by Wally-world, why don't I go check to see if they have that Crib CD thing. They did not, but they did have socks for Katie, Dh's diet cola drinks, Luvs diapers, Goodnights, and that Baby Einstein Mirror book. They also had extremely LOOOOOOONG check out lines. 2 express checkouts were open, with about 20 carts each.

30 minutes later, I was walking out of Wally-world.

and then I though, I bet giant baby store has that crib CD thing. So I drove across town to giant baby store. I bypassed getting a cart because I was ONLY getting the crib CD thing.

and then I saw a red balloon. Huh? What's with the red balloon? Extra 30% off of clearance prices? Making this DRESS $8.75?! Okay, size 24 months for next Christmas for Katie.

and then...3 more balloons? Really? A pooh sweatsuit for $4.80? OH this pretty outfit for $4.80? and this ONE? Pretty soon I had 20 outfits in my hands.

and then, you know, I really need a cart. So I head to the front of the store to get a cart. I pass by a table with pacifiers on it. STRAIGHT nipple pacifiers. Only in blue though. Hm...perhaps if I go look over there with the other baby supplies. I pick up the blue pack just in case, get my cart, and head to the baby supplies. I find a pink set. Perfect.

and then, OH YEAH, the crib CD thing. So I walk to the back of the store and look around the cribs. No CD player thing. I walk to the toys. No crib CD player thing. I walk to the special gift area. No crib CD player thing. I walk by the "Red Balloons" again, and OH look that's a cute outfit....and another and another....oh...ummm...crib CD thing.

I head back to baby supplies (the only place other than the car seat aisles) that I had not checked. I look down through the monitors. No luck, but there is a new Deluxe Angel Care baby monitor. If we ever have another newborn, then that is the one I would want. Next aisle was bath toys. Then diaper pails (and I wonder if we need one or not). Last aisle and I'm giving up hope when I spy...

a PRINCESS bib!!! Katie doesn't have any real "toddler" style bibs. I debate on the plasticized cloth ones or the white terry cloth one that has PRINCESS embroidered on it. I go with the one that says Princess.

and then I remember my quest for a crib CD thingy. So I look on the other side of the aisle and find a "I-crib" thingy. It's on clearance for $20. Not included in the extra 30% off as that only applied to clothes and shoes. But it needs us to have an MP3 player or an I-pod.

seriously, we don't OWN any.

and then, I spy, right next to it, the crib CD thingy!!!! It's $40. Has a night light a timer...and attaches to the crib. Oh joy joy joy!!!! I can go back to the clothes. Priorities you know. I walk to red balloons, park the cart, and pull out my only calculator - my cell phone.

and then I enter in all the clothes (well half) and make a mistake and accidently clear the screen. I re-enter all the numbers and am about to press equals...the phone rings. It's Dh. He wants to know where I am and if I'm okay. Because I was going to the Post Office and it's now been about 2 hours. I tell him all of the above.

and then I remember he has access to a calculator so I ask him what is 70% of $12.50? of $6.90? of $5.50? Then I start trying to figure out which outfits I truly LOVE, which I like, and which I can live without. I'm down to 3 outfits.

and then I spy some sweatsuits and outfits on clearance but without a red balloon! They are included, just the red balloon was taken off. Sneaky people. I'm back up to 6 outfits now. I swear to myself that I am leaving. I really am....but I spy Valentine's outfits. I find a cute shirt for Katie for this year. I'm really leaving this time.

and then I see it...a perfect outfit for next fall - Disney Princess windsuit! It's 3T though. I want 2t. So I chase down the sales clerks, and ask "Where did this come from because I've been all over the store and I can't find it's rack and I really want a 2t so do you have anymore somewhere?" It's from giant toy store affliate. So I buy it anyway and pledge to go to giant toy store affliate to find the 2t and exchange.

and then....yes THEN I head home. Where I feed Katie dinner, tell Dh I want to go to giant toy store and I need C batteries for crib cd thing. So we go out to eat, drive to giant toy store - I find 2t outfit and exchange, we drive to computer store closing down to get laptop bag...we remember C batteries...there are none there...and drive to Red bullseye store, where I get batteries and container for receipts....

and then, yes THEN I'm headed home for the night.

What did I do?

She is a little anxiously attached these days, and if you put her down for second she cries. It only lasts a few seconds, but these huge crocodile tears well up in her eyes and she looks at you like you just killed her best friend. Yes, I'm a wimp, I will give her a big hug and typically pick her back up.

I give it a few more months then I will start working on my strength to resist those tears.

(I'm doing a 366 challenge - you take a photo a day for a year, this was today's)

Can I have a do-over?

It started BRIGHT and early this morning, like at 6am. Katie had her cardiology appointment at 7:45am. Getting us all up, out the door, and find this new doctor's office was a chore. We were about 5 minutes late.

Report from this appointment will be forthcoming! :)

We got home around 8:30am (yes really quick appointment, being first does have it's advantages). The boys did some schoolwork, Samuel took a nap, Katie and I took a nap...I burned some rice. I fed the boys and Katie lunch. Called my Mom.

12:30 and I remembered Karate! Yelled at the boys to find their Gis, tried not to laugh at Samuel wearing JM's gi pants from his old gi. Found the new ones. Got everyone in the van. We got to Karate about 5 minutes late.

Sat and visited with the other Karate Moms. Talked to one mom there at the end of class and remembered...the RICE. I forgot to turn off the boiling pot of rice. Begged my friend to bring the boys home, raced home (with Katie) to find my rice was well and truly burnt. ;)

Put Katie down for a nap (it was 2pm after all). Had Samuel work on school work. Had JM study his spelling words. Tried to stay awake. Katie woke up at 4:15pm. I realized it was past time to make it to JM's birthday party (luckily only 5 minutes up the road). On the way I remember that I forgot pizza, drinks, plates, party favors....good thing Dh was picking up the cupcakes that I had only ordered the night before.

Get to the party and I remember I forgot the Lunchable Pizza for my friend's little boy who is allergic to eggs and tomatoes. I felt TERRIBLE. The party location had "favors" I could buy, we ordered Pizza and drinks as well. We're at the party, visiting with friends and someone is using my camera to take photos of all the kids! YEAH!!!

I forgot the CF cards for the camera.

Luckily I had the point and shoot in the diaper bag, but all those first good images were not on any memory card.

I hope tomorrow is a better day. LOL

Katie's Words

I've been asked if Katie is talking yet. Well she babbles. However she has said a few things.

My-Mom (this is what she said over and over in China, and we think it refers to her Foster Mom)

No-no-no-no (this means No)

Momma (not sure if she means me, or just babbling. She might mean Dh though)

mow - she says everytime she sees a cat, yes a cat says "meow" :)

and I swear today, when she saw our cat she said "Kitty" and visions of Monsters Inc. popped in my head. LOL