Anxiously Attached

We've been busy here in our household, and the past few posts were written way back at least a month ago...thus, their rather "less than personal" info about daily happenings in our house. Why have we been busy? Well, baseball season is in full swing, and Katie is anxiously attached. I've not talked a lot about what all is going on with her as it is pretty good for the most part.

But, anxious attachment is something that is definitely creating issues during the day. Katie wants to touch me, see me, or have me hold her the entire time she is awake. She seeks me out wherever I might be if she hears my voice. She follows me around the house during the day while I try to clean. She constantly wants to be held. I do pick her up and rock with her, cuddle her, and give her a lot of attention. But sometimes, I need some "alone" time too. We went through a little of this right after getting home, but it's definitely different this time. Dh even sees it. Katie does great with Dh, she can part from him in a healthy "toddler" way. But me? I think she fears I will not return. It has meant that bedtime and naptime have become more of a struggle if I am the one putting her down. She does not like it at all when I leave the room.

I am thinking she is going through something relating to trust, attachment, bonding, or grief as she has increased her bond to me, increased her trust that we will always love her (more tantrums and whining and bothering the boys), more fear of other people (including friends), and she is waking some at night crying. It's not every night, but it is more often. Almost as if she is having a nightmare or something. I've learned NOT to bring her to bed unless she is inconsolable. She tends to think the bed it "playtime" and proceeds to poke my eyes, pull my hair, slap at my face, and tackle me.

We've also seen a huge increase in stranger anxiety. She runs and hides her face in my legs when anyone she doesn't recognize talks to her (like "Hi Katie!"). We went on a playdate with some friends for her (photos in a later post), and it took a good 30 minutes for her to warm up to them. She loves playing in the church nursery, but going to someone's home was a little hard for her. Or it could be the fact that it was her first playdate with some of our FCC friends. I do not know.

Something else that was surprising is that Katie is VERY protective of HER toys. She'll share toys that are not hers, but if it is her toy beware! At the ballfield, one of the parents picked up her doll that she had dropped and she screamed in anger at them, snatched the doll from their hands, and pushed the doll to my arms. It was almost "Don't take my doll! Here Mommy, keep my doll safe from them!" She was okay sharing her ball with another baby there, so I do not know if that is it totally. It could easily be the doll. She seemed to attach to the doll quickly when I gave it to her (it's the newborn Cabbage Patch doll, and she wants me to have the older one). We sit during the day with her cuddling her doll, and she insists I hold and "love" on the bigger doll.

I printed one of the photos of Katie from Easter rather large, and had it framed. Katie is in awe of it. She points to it with a big grin on her face and says "Mama." I am choosing to think it means "Oh thank you Mama, I love seeing myself so big on the wall. I love seeing that I belong on the wall with the boys." :) Most likely, she's just loving seeing herself period. She loves to look in mirrors and has the same reaction. LOL

If I've not visited your blog recently, please leave me a comment with the link. I lost my side-bar blog list recently and I'm trying to remember all the blogs I visited. I am going to have to link it here on this blog, and let all you wonderful people see how I procrastinate. I do it so well too. ;)

Now, for the GOOD that Katie is doing. She is using more words now. Hi, Hiya, Bye, uh-oh, Mama, Dada, Baba, aannn-ooooo (thank you), no, yep, ah-on (all gone), and hot. Oh, she roars too. She wants me to cradle her and cuddle her some. She brings me books to "read" to her (we get about 3 pages and she wants to switch, unless it's the 5 Little Ducks book). She learned how to climb the stairs, and despite a few falls, is still going strong. She is learning to run, truly run. It's a little "waddle" still, and still very much a toddler style run...but OH so cute. Especially as she is laughing hysterically as you chase her to the bathroom that is open...she's going for the toilet. Although, she recently discovered the joys of unrolling the toilet paper.

and Lisa, remember Regan's washing of hair in the humidifier water? Katie found an open toilet the other day and we found her with wet hair, wet arms, wet shirt front...and a huge PROUD smile. She got a bath. Luckily it was OUR bathroom (yeah we're all trying to remember to shut doors in our home). At least I know it was clean!

Katie LOVES to torment her brothers. From hitting them with a toy if they don't obey her every command (you know the ones in her mind that she expects them to mind-read), to helping herself to anything and everything in their room...it's so joyous to hear "Kaaaaa-teeeeeee give me that NOW. Give it back!" and "OW!!! Kaaaaa-deeeeeeee! Moooooooooooo-aaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmm Katie hit me!" Life is grand.

Remind me sometime to update you on the boys. Poor Samuel is feeling the brunt of adding a child. We're trying to remember to give him lots of attention. He's doing great.

Those of you just dying to know. We made it to 8 weeks of someone in the house having some medical illness or issue. I put some lotion on Katie and she broke out badly. Or it was a rash from a viral infection (that cold) ending. Her cough is better. Samuel's is not. Katie definitely needed albuterol with the worst of the cough (and hated it). Samuel has only needed the rescue meds a couple of times...he's also running low on allergy meds now. 8 weeks. I won't count the asthma issues this week unless Samuel gets worse (meaning it's back to bronchitis).