Personalities of our kids

Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them. - W. Clement Stone

In thinking about this quote I started thinking about my own life, and particularly how this will affect my children. Which led me to think about their personalities, and who they are.

While in China I remember telling Cheri that I felt like we were all given children with personalities and quirks that we were best able to handle. That something about the makeup of the parents' personalities fit in perfectly with what the child needed. With the boys it's something we just assume, they will have personality traits that match either myself or my husband.

But, really, is personality genetic? Or is it learned? Or is it a little bit of both. I mean, Katie could NOT have learned to be a grouchy grump first thing in the morning from ME on her first morning with us (she woke up JUST like I do and has continued to wake up like that). It was not learned from me, but is exactly like me. Is it a genetic thing, or is it learned from perhaps her foster parent?

When I was dreaming of my "perfect" daughter, I told my husband that I wanted a girl who would want to dress up like Cinderella but play sports against the boys and beat them....wearing her tiara in the mud. Can you see it? (another photographer I know) That link was the embodiment of what I wanted MY daughter to be like.

At our last post placement meeting with our social worker, I was asked about Katie's personality. When I mentioned that she was fit in perfectly with our family, with personality that meshed with the boys just as if she'd born to us. Our social worker commented that everyone feels that way.

Why is that? Why does everyone feel that way? Is it like voices, accents, talking, etc. that our kids can end up sounding just like us (yes Katie is going to have that lovely southern accent which is going to make learning Mandarin just that much harder). Is it because liking to play sports, or liking to watch NASCAR, or liking music, or liking games like spades or Monopoly, or any other thing that we consider part of the personality is environmental?

Will Katie be strong willed because of genetics or because of her environment? Will she be patient? Will she be honest? Will she be thoughtful? Will she be demure? Will she be an extrovert or introvert? Will she like science and math OR will she like the arts?

With the boys we sort of figured that they would be more science and math kids (with 2 "geeks" for parents did they even stand a chance?). But with Katie we don't know. It's actually kind of fun and interesting to see her develop her own interests and personality. I'm anxious and excited to see what and who she becomes as she grows.

But to be honest...she's the female version of our boys in likes, dislikes, personality traits, interests, and such. It's enough to make you go, "Hmmmmmm....."