What about SOCIALIZATION?!

I guarantee it, EVERY SINGLE PERSON has that question when they find out I homeschool. EVERY SINGLE ONE. You think that dealing with Adoption questions get old? Try homeschooling as well. Fun times.

So, socilization, by defition means "a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position."

What I think people actually mean is how am I going to "socialize" my child. Socialize means "–verb (used with object)
1. to make social; make fit for life in companionship with others.
2. to make socialistic; establish or regulate according to the theories of socialism.
3. Education. to treat as a group activity: to socialize spelling quizzes.
–verb (used without object)
4. to associate or mingle sociably with others: to socialize with one's fellow workers. "

I always try to lead them to their own answers in this situation. I ask them, if their husband is the same age and from the same grade as they are? Most of the time they say no. I ask them if all their friends that they socialize with are the same age and graduated from high school the same year they did. I am always told NO. I ask them if everyone they work with are the same age? Or everyone they go to church with are the same age? Or everyone they meet out in the "real world" are the same age? I always get No (with a really dumb look that is saying "duh lady....how stupid are you?").

So, I ask them, what kind of socializing does a traditional school setting TEACH if they are always around same age peers? Is that normal socialization? Sitting at desks in rows, being around the same age children all day long, etc. I've heard that where someone spends the majority of the time is where they will start getting their "ideas" of what is right and wrong. Yes, parents have influence, but what influence do the kids at school have? Peer pressure. It's part of the "socialization" of a school environment. Is it good? Or is it bad? I guess that depends on what the peer pressure is working toward (in Katie's case it might be good to force her into potty training).

One thing that I can NOT teach my children is to rely on other adults, and to learn that other adults are trustworthy and capable of handling their problems. My kids HAVE had other teachers, but I'm not sure of the extent that they have had to "trust" them to take care of an issue or problem. This is a step toward independence and maturity that JM is ready to take, and summer camp will hopefully do that for him. This is NOT to say that my kids have not learned to respect other adults in leadership roles, they have.

Where do children learn how to act in a grocery store? Does the school teach them that? Where do they learn how to act at church? Most of the time they figure out that learning how to act in a the big bad world comes during those first 5 years of life, and it comes from what the parents teach.

Or, are the people concerned about "socialization" actually meaning how will my children spend time with other children. They worry about my children sitting at home all the time or something. But you know, by not spending time around other children so much, my kids do not know what things are "trendy" and quite frankly do not care. My kids play happily with children of all ages. My 6 year old will happily play with a 4 year old instead of whining about how they are a "baby" like some friend's children do. My kids make friends everywhere they go, and so far are not concerned about going to a new place where they won't know anyone.

We also do not just sit at home. I think I have one day during the week where we are "at home" and that is when I try to get all our cleaning done as well. It's a constant juggling act.

But just in case they actually mean whether or not my children know how to act in a classroom, we've taught those skills. I must say that asking homeschoolers to "line up" at the door is something we have to teach. We have had to teach them to raise their hands to make comments and ask questions while out on field trips. We've also had to teach them to ask permission to go to the restroom. Yes, my kids do know how to do all that as well now.