Waiting is just hard

One thing that I never really thought about was how incredibly hard it is to wait. To wait while you have a photo of your child and know that while they are cared for and probably loved by their foster mother or ayi, that it is not your love. Not your care. 58 days of waiting, 61 days of knowing who our daughter is, and we do not know how much longer we have to wait.

Each of the few photos we have are precious. Each of them have been studied for any clues to who she is, what she likes, and any gleaming of any possibility of what her smile looks like. In all of them she is not smiling. I want to know what her smile looks like. I want to gaze into her eyes and see the iris and whether or not the color is all homogeneous, or does it have slight variations. Does she have a favorite toy? Does she really like music? What does she like to eat?

Yes the wait is hard for referral. Yes the wait is hard after referral. I think waiting is just hard. I follow all sorts of blogs, and there are some who get monthly photo updates. I think of how wonderful that would be since I have my total of 5 photos with no hope of getting more. But then, it has to be hard for them as well getting those photos, as it's a physical reminder that they too are still waiting. The ability to send a care package is not something we have with where Katie is. The director of the orphanage will not forward the package to the foster parents, and thus Katie would get our package until about 3-5 days before we met her. So we have to decide if it is worth it or not.

All we can do at this point is pray for patience and pray that officials in all governments involved will work fast and get us all of our approvals. We can take it one day at a time, and hopefully before we know it we'll be leaving on a jet plane.